还记得上一篇的 「石头记」 吗？
对于 「石头」，我就只有暗恋的份而已，我始终不敢向他表白，而他也没表示什么，所以应该是我自己自作多情罢了。Linda 倒是向他表明了态度，鼓励她的别无他人，就是偶了。也许是因为自己的懦弱与不坦率，心想如果 Linda 成功跟他交往的话也不错，就好像替我圆梦一样。我还问他对 Linda 的感觉呢，应该也是利用这个机会试探他到底喜欢谁，我觉得我好狡猾，有点对不起 Linda 似的。
Linda 也有问过他，他不太认真，也没正面回答，甚至还半开玩笑的用遮菜的蓝子遮住脸。
在阁楼里，Linda 向他告白了。
「石头」 的回应是 「做朋友就好。」
之后 「石头」 的家里发生很多事，他的父母已经离婚好几年了，他跟爸爸和婆婆住，母亲是台湾人 （我好像和妈妈是台湾人的男生很有缘 － 我现任男友就是这样）。他婆婆喜欢管这管那的，也不太喜欢他跟我们一班女孩子在一起玩。渐渐的，我们越来越少上 Adlena 的家。
过了好一段时间，听 Adlena 说 「石头」 辍学了。好可惜，他连中学第一年的预备班也没念完，能够作什么呢？但我和 Linda 都只有听的份，帮不上什么。就算去 Adlena 家也见不到他，他好像永远都不在家似的。
应该是缘分未尽吧，Linda 偶然发现他在我们常去的公共游泳池当救生员，还教人游泳勒。嗯，一定有很多女学生被他迷倒了吧！我和 Linda 也有在他工作时去看过他一次，也许是因为在工作所以没理会我们吧。
迟些没人的时候，他倒是跟我们说话了。坐在高高的救生员观望椅上，望下来我们所在的泳池里。Linda 不会游泳，所以他就叫我游给他看，我不要。
「游吧！」 他说。
「为什么一定要听你的呢？」 我就是喜欢跟他作对。
之后也不记得他说了什么，我现在只是隐约记得他当时对我说了意思暧昧不清的话，
因为 Linda 也在，所以我当时非常震惊，连忙用很尖锐的语气问了他一句
「你说什么？！」，然后还瞪了他一眼。他好像也被我的反应吓到了，
抛了一句 「没有啊」，就没再说什么了。
气氛变得有点尴尬，Linda 好像局外人似的在旁看着，我也搞不清楚这一切只是我的一厢情愿、心理作用，仰或确确实实的发生过。只是，我到现在还很在意他最后的
那句话。。。是什么呢？我真的是不记得了。
就这样，我们中学毕业了，在准备上学院的期间，我和 Linda 各自努力的工作着。一天，Linda 又遇见了 「石头」，就在她工作的百货公司里 （她当时是化妆柜台小姐），「石头」 竟然在卖盗版 VCD！而且他的头发还染成了很 ah beng 的金色。
我们俩都想再见见他，于是 Linda 就约了在他家附近吃午餐。
那是一顿尴尬又沉闷的午餐，他又缩进我们刚认识他的软壳里了，不多话，
酷的很冰冷。没办法，毕竟我们已经好几年没见面了。
又一段日子过去了，Linda 再次鼓起勇气约他见面 （我打从心底佩服她，永不放弃）。
他答应了。
可是，当日他却跟 Linda 说他不想出去了，想待在家里。于是，Linda 就到他家去了，但是 「石头」 并没有好好的招呼 Linda，他反而把她丢在客厅，自己却跑上楼去讲电话！
真是逊毙了！
Linda 为此伤心不已，就算当时我还喜欢着 「石头」，听了这些之后，多少还是对他有些许的反感，喜欢他的心情也慢慢的开始瓦解。
但是我就是不能完全讨厌他，其实也没很充分的理由那么做。
那之后，我就再也没见过他了。有听说他去了台湾，因为他母亲的身体不太好，所以就接他过去陪她了。
又过了一两年，Linda 竟然在某个台湾综艺节目中看到他了！真是太不可思议了！那是一个女生倒追男生的节目，我已经忘了节目名称，但我想大概很多人还记得吧。总之就是要女生在人来人往的西门町向陌生男子搭讪。
听了 Linda 的描述，真是超爆笑的！
「石头」 当时也好像在等人，该节目安排的女生上前向他搭讪，他带着黑色墨镜 （根本就是在扮酷嘛！），穿得一身黑 （唉，还是老样子，就 ah beng 样嘛，在台湾应该是被称为 「台客」 呗）。
他拒绝了那女的，但那女的穷追不舍，总该向节目有个交代吧，所以也只好厚着脸皮上了。他仍然无动于衷，这时，一位中年妇女突然焦急的接近这对年轻人。
「请你就别再骚扰他了，你几岁啊？还这么小就做这种事？」 女人对女孩说。
而在一旁的 「石头」 只能默默的露出尴尬的神情，原本是要耍酷的，结果却巫龙收场，太好笑了！我不是在嘲笑他啦，只是单纯的觉得好笑而已。
最近，不知怎的，突然就好想再见到他。
Friday, June 30, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
???
突然发觉，原来我一直都对中性美的男生情有独钟。
比如说上一篇的柏原崇啦、Taylor Hanson、龙泽秀明 （现在已经一点感觉都没了，他太没突破了），诸如此类的。
事实上，我的现任男友也是有几分脂粉味的，性格也比较像女生，很细腻，很体贴。
我呢，正好相反，总是大刺刺的，什么都敢说，有时还会口勿遮拦。
异性相吸，我绝对是相信的。
可是，记忆中就有那么一个男生，样子不会中性啦，但还是蛮帅的，超爱耍酷，而且还小我两岁。我这个花痴女暗恋过的男生不计其数，唯独他的身影回荡在我内心深处，挥之不去。也许因为他是我众多暗恋对象当中，最养眼的吧。
十四岁那年吧，我约了 Linda 到 Adlena 家晃。一如往常，Linda 又迟到了，我坐在客厅地上跟 Adlena 看电视。不知怎的，视线突然被隔壁隔着篱笆望进来的男生占据了，他长的很好看，酷似 Leonardo DiCaprio。那时正好是 「铁达尼号」 的全盛时期，Linda 很喜欢 Leo，而我受了一点点感染。
总之那男的就一直目不转睛的望过来，我们四目交会，看得我都不好意思而别过头去了。十四岁的女生应该是情窦初开的时候吧，有些许小鹿乱撞的感觉。我从眼角看到他走向他家的大闸门，要外出似的。
「去哪儿呢？」 I wonder.
忽然开闸门的声响传进我的耳膜。
「咦，他不是刚刚才开了门吗？」 我好奇的想。
但这声响好像很靠近，我抬头，看见他竟开了 Adlena 家的门，走了进来。
他一进门就一屁股坐在门边的沙发上，默不作声。这一切对他来说好像都那么的自然，甚至连 Adlena 都懒得去管他。我越想越觉得奇怪，那尴尬的气氛维持了好一段时间，我也忘了 Linda 到底是那时还是之后才到。那瞬间，我眼里应该只有他而已吧。
终於，我决定让那奇怪的气氛终结。
「这人到底是干嘛的啊？为什么突然开门进来坐在那里，又一直闷不吭声？好奇怪！」我没好气的大声问 Adlena。
「喔，他是住隔壁的，我邻居啦！」 Adlena 回答。
「对了，你怎么来了？」 她转向那个男的问道。但他还是保持沉默。
还真会装，我心想。
之后才知道他的名字，蛮好听的，在这我就卖个关子了。
Linda 到了之后也一直注视着他，接着我们就全员跑到楼上去玩了。在 Adlena 房间里，我跟寄宿在她家，同样小我们两岁的良伟比腕力，呵呵，我赢了，我连忙大声嘲笑他，因为他是男的嘛！他也很配合的作出了被欺负的可怜模样，超爆笑的！
「我也要玩！」 这时，「石头」 突然说话了！
「原来你也会说话啊？玩就玩，你可别输哦！」 我大胆放话。
结果哩，我战死杀场。糗的勒！
他的手腕好有力，我好像要赢了，但又被他反弹了回来，好阴险哦！让我看见一线曙光，结果又把我推进无底深渊！（是形容的夸张了点啦）
自那次以后，我和 Linda 就经常去 Adlena 家。多半是因为他吧，不出我所料，Linda 也对他有
好感。一如往常，我没把心事跟任何人说。
奇怪的是，「石头」 经常都会向我恶作剧，他鲜少对其他人这么做。虽然他是个问题学生，课业也差，但他对女孩子倒很绅士，不像是为了讨好别人而装出来的，他对男生也一样，只是对女生会比较温柔和体贴。我开始怀疑他是不是也对我有感觉，但当时我并不会打扮，又顶着四百多度近视的厚眼镜，所以我也不敢太自作多情，而且也听说他已经有女朋友，刚交往不久，也是戴眼镜的。
只是，他真的越来越令我搞不懂。
有一次，我在 Adlena 家的楼梯下找东西却找不到，当我站起身时，竟惊觉他就站在我右边，他比我高，虽然当时他才十二岁而已 （根本不像），所以我一转身就只能面对他的胸口。我抬起头，天啊，他的脸靠我超近的！而且他还老神在在、像个木头似的盯着我看。怪不好意思的，我别过脸去，以无所谓的语气打发他帮我找东西，而他也马上就钻进杂物当中照做了。我呢，则是待在他后面平复心情，心在狂跳的勒！
另一次，我兴高采烈的带着刚买的直排滑轮到 Adlena 家去，我是买了之后才学的，百货公司大平卖，所以很便宜。Linda 也有来我家玩过，之后她爸爸还从新加玻买了一双更好的给她。总之我就约了 Linda 到 Adlena 家滑啦。
「石头」 ，良伟和 Adlena 只在一旁看而已，滑了一段时间后，我脱下滑轮休息。良伟跑来跟我说 「石头」 想跟我借来滑，我看了他一眼，说 「可以啊，但我有脚臭，你好自为知咯！」
他一副无所谓的样子，试着把脚塞进鞋里，结果良伟的一句 「脚太大了，穿不进啦！」
令得我啼笑皆非。之后 「石头」 也只好待在一旁作观众了。
但良伟倒是向 Linda 借了滑轮，幸好他也穿得下，不幸的是，因为玩得太 high 了，Linda 害得良伟摔了一跤，膝盖还流血呢，Adlena 也责怪她 (Adlena 生气时超可怕的）。伤口处理好后，我跟良伟胡闹，打发时间，一个不小心就把他的膝盖推向 Adlena 的枕头，结果伤口溢出来的血汁沾到了 Adlena 的枕头。
「好脏！你们现在说怎么办！」 Adlena 气愤的嚷到。
「好啦、好啦，你就别生气了，我拿去洗就是了，对不起啦！」 我说。
「那还差不多！」 Adlena 满意的说道。
于是我拿着枕头套到浴室去，「石头」 站在门边看着我洗。
「咦，你会洗衣的吗？」 他讽刺的问。
「当然了，很简单而已嘛！」 我没好气的回答。
他突然把浴室的门迅速的拉上，把我锁在里面，还关灯勒，浴室里巫漆抹黑的。
「你关灯我怎么洗啊？我不怕的啦，吓不到我的，放弃吧！」 我向门外的他叫到。
他还是不开门，过了几分钟，大概是见我对他的恶作剧无动于衷吧，就识相的把门打开了。
「不好玩。」 他说，于是走掉了。
接着，竟是良伟来凑热闹，头痛哦！
又一次，我、Linda、Adlena 排排坐在客厅的沙发，而那两个白痴男就坐在我们对面的沙发，他们竟不要命的开始谈论起我们三个女生的长相来了！
第一个是 Adlena，他们你一言、我一句的说，倘若 Adlena 脸上的豆豆消除的话，应该也蛮不错的。而 Linda 呢，竟被他们说成麻将台的脸，是蛮好笑的啦，所以我就难以控制的笑了出来啊，结果竟招来叛徒之名，唉！做人难喔！
轮到我时，「石头」 叫我除下眼镜，我说什么都不肯。
「脱掉啦！」 他说。
「不脱！」
「脱！」
「不脱！」
「脱啦！我给你一百块钱，脱掉啦！」
「哇，你把我当什么了？妓女吗？不脱就是不脱啦！」
他拿我没办法，所以就放弃了，也没进一步讨论我。稍后，我才自己把眼镜脱下，望着他，他看到了，没说什么，感觉就好像我在挑逗他似的。我一向对暧昧不清的感觉最没抵抗力了，超爽的！
由于每次去 Adlena 家就会待一整天，所以我们经常会带衣服去，洗了澡再回家。天色暗了，我和 Linda 轮流洗澡，这天，我带了一件宽松的长袖格子衬衫和短裤。洗完澡后，我们就到楼下混，等待 Adlena 的妈妈开晚饭，吃了才回去。
我们这几个没事作的闲人很无聊的开始比较起谁的 BCG 最大，轮到我的时候，因为袖子太长了，所以就一直拉不上而不能秀出我的 BCG。
「太肥了啦，看不到。」 我自嘲。
「不要紧啦。」 他说。
然后他们全都跑到厨房去了，厨房很热，所以我就一个人待在前厅里。刚洗完澡，天气又凉凉的，有一种昏昏欲睡的感觉，很舒服。
中厅只开了一盏灯，于是，前厅就显得阴暗了。突然，「石头」 像小孩子般的，蹦蹦跳跳来到了我面前，脸上还挂着天真无邪的笑容，我有一点惊讶，他平时都酷酷的。
「干嘛啊你？这么开心？」 我好奇的问道。
「没有啊，呵呵。」 他笑着对我说。
接着，他竟然伸手翻了翻我的领口，我们的距离好近好近，我用尽全身的力气把自己硬压在那里而不逃走。他还拉了我的领口一下，示意要把我的衣服扯开，我简直就傻住了，这跟我认识的他 （虽然不是很久） 完全不同！还好他及时停手，要不我就要让他吃拳头了！
「跟你玩的啦！」 他一脸俏皮的笑着对我说，然后就跑回厨房了。
好了啦，这篇我就写了两天，而且是工作的时候偷懒写的 （这几天其实也蛮轻松的啦），那么就这样啦！
下篇持续！
比如说上一篇的柏原崇啦、Taylor Hanson、龙泽秀明 （现在已经一点感觉都没了，他太没突破了），诸如此类的。
事实上，我的现任男友也是有几分脂粉味的，性格也比较像女生，很细腻，很体贴。
我呢，正好相反，总是大刺刺的，什么都敢说，有时还会口勿遮拦。
异性相吸，我绝对是相信的。
可是，记忆中就有那么一个男生，样子不会中性啦，但还是蛮帅的，超爱耍酷，而且还小我两岁。我这个花痴女暗恋过的男生不计其数，唯独他的身影回荡在我内心深处，挥之不去。也许因为他是我众多暗恋对象当中，最养眼的吧。
十四岁那年吧，我约了 Linda 到 Adlena 家晃。一如往常，Linda 又迟到了，我坐在客厅地上跟 Adlena 看电视。不知怎的，视线突然被隔壁隔着篱笆望进来的男生占据了，他长的很好看，酷似 Leonardo DiCaprio。那时正好是 「铁达尼号」 的全盛时期，Linda 很喜欢 Leo，而我受了一点点感染。
总之那男的就一直目不转睛的望过来，我们四目交会，看得我都不好意思而别过头去了。十四岁的女生应该是情窦初开的时候吧，有些许小鹿乱撞的感觉。我从眼角看到他走向他家的大闸门，要外出似的。
「去哪儿呢？」 I wonder.
忽然开闸门的声响传进我的耳膜。
「咦，他不是刚刚才开了门吗？」 我好奇的想。
但这声响好像很靠近，我抬头，看见他竟开了 Adlena 家的门，走了进来。
他一进门就一屁股坐在门边的沙发上，默不作声。这一切对他来说好像都那么的自然，甚至连 Adlena 都懒得去管他。我越想越觉得奇怪，那尴尬的气氛维持了好一段时间，我也忘了 Linda 到底是那时还是之后才到。那瞬间，我眼里应该只有他而已吧。
终於，我决定让那奇怪的气氛终结。
「这人到底是干嘛的啊？为什么突然开门进来坐在那里，又一直闷不吭声？好奇怪！」我没好气的大声问 Adlena。
「喔，他是住隔壁的，我邻居啦！」 Adlena 回答。
「对了，你怎么来了？」 她转向那个男的问道。但他还是保持沉默。
还真会装，我心想。
之后才知道他的名字，蛮好听的，在这我就卖个关子了。
Linda 到了之后也一直注视着他，接着我们就全员跑到楼上去玩了。在 Adlena 房间里，我跟寄宿在她家，同样小我们两岁的良伟比腕力，呵呵，我赢了，我连忙大声嘲笑他，因为他是男的嘛！他也很配合的作出了被欺负的可怜模样，超爆笑的！
「我也要玩！」 这时，「石头」 突然说话了！
「原来你也会说话啊？玩就玩，你可别输哦！」 我大胆放话。
结果哩，我战死杀场。糗的勒！
他的手腕好有力，我好像要赢了，但又被他反弹了回来，好阴险哦！让我看见一线曙光，结果又把我推进无底深渊！（是形容的夸张了点啦）
自那次以后，我和 Linda 就经常去 Adlena 家。多半是因为他吧，不出我所料，Linda 也对他有
好感。一如往常，我没把心事跟任何人说。
奇怪的是，「石头」 经常都会向我恶作剧，他鲜少对其他人这么做。虽然他是个问题学生，课业也差，但他对女孩子倒很绅士，不像是为了讨好别人而装出来的，他对男生也一样，只是对女生会比较温柔和体贴。我开始怀疑他是不是也对我有感觉，但当时我并不会打扮，又顶着四百多度近视的厚眼镜，所以我也不敢太自作多情，而且也听说他已经有女朋友，刚交往不久，也是戴眼镜的。
只是，他真的越来越令我搞不懂。
有一次，我在 Adlena 家的楼梯下找东西却找不到，当我站起身时，竟惊觉他就站在我右边，他比我高，虽然当时他才十二岁而已 （根本不像），所以我一转身就只能面对他的胸口。我抬起头，天啊，他的脸靠我超近的！而且他还老神在在、像个木头似的盯着我看。怪不好意思的，我别过脸去，以无所谓的语气打发他帮我找东西，而他也马上就钻进杂物当中照做了。我呢，则是待在他后面平复心情，心在狂跳的勒！
另一次，我兴高采烈的带着刚买的直排滑轮到 Adlena 家去，我是买了之后才学的，百货公司大平卖，所以很便宜。Linda 也有来我家玩过，之后她爸爸还从新加玻买了一双更好的给她。总之我就约了 Linda 到 Adlena 家滑啦。
「石头」 ，良伟和 Adlena 只在一旁看而已，滑了一段时间后，我脱下滑轮休息。良伟跑来跟我说 「石头」 想跟我借来滑，我看了他一眼，说 「可以啊，但我有脚臭，你好自为知咯！」
他一副无所谓的样子，试着把脚塞进鞋里，结果良伟的一句 「脚太大了，穿不进啦！」
令得我啼笑皆非。之后 「石头」 也只好待在一旁作观众了。
但良伟倒是向 Linda 借了滑轮，幸好他也穿得下，不幸的是，因为玩得太 high 了，Linda 害得良伟摔了一跤，膝盖还流血呢，Adlena 也责怪她 (Adlena 生气时超可怕的）。伤口处理好后，我跟良伟胡闹，打发时间，一个不小心就把他的膝盖推向 Adlena 的枕头，结果伤口溢出来的血汁沾到了 Adlena 的枕头。
「好脏！你们现在说怎么办！」 Adlena 气愤的嚷到。
「好啦、好啦，你就别生气了，我拿去洗就是了，对不起啦！」 我说。
「那还差不多！」 Adlena 满意的说道。
于是我拿着枕头套到浴室去，「石头」 站在门边看着我洗。
「咦，你会洗衣的吗？」 他讽刺的问。
「当然了，很简单而已嘛！」 我没好气的回答。
他突然把浴室的门迅速的拉上，把我锁在里面，还关灯勒，浴室里巫漆抹黑的。
「你关灯我怎么洗啊？我不怕的啦，吓不到我的，放弃吧！」 我向门外的他叫到。
他还是不开门，过了几分钟，大概是见我对他的恶作剧无动于衷吧，就识相的把门打开了。
「不好玩。」 他说，于是走掉了。
接着，竟是良伟来凑热闹，头痛哦！
又一次，我、Linda、Adlena 排排坐在客厅的沙发，而那两个白痴男就坐在我们对面的沙发，他们竟不要命的开始谈论起我们三个女生的长相来了！
第一个是 Adlena，他们你一言、我一句的说，倘若 Adlena 脸上的豆豆消除的话，应该也蛮不错的。而 Linda 呢，竟被他们说成麻将台的脸，是蛮好笑的啦，所以我就难以控制的笑了出来啊，结果竟招来叛徒之名，唉！做人难喔！
轮到我时，「石头」 叫我除下眼镜，我说什么都不肯。
「脱掉啦！」 他说。
「不脱！」
「脱！」
「不脱！」
「脱啦！我给你一百块钱，脱掉啦！」
「哇，你把我当什么了？妓女吗？不脱就是不脱啦！」
他拿我没办法，所以就放弃了，也没进一步讨论我。稍后，我才自己把眼镜脱下，望着他，他看到了，没说什么，感觉就好像我在挑逗他似的。我一向对暧昧不清的感觉最没抵抗力了，超爽的！
由于每次去 Adlena 家就会待一整天，所以我们经常会带衣服去，洗了澡再回家。天色暗了，我和 Linda 轮流洗澡，这天，我带了一件宽松的长袖格子衬衫和短裤。洗完澡后，我们就到楼下混，等待 Adlena 的妈妈开晚饭，吃了才回去。
我们这几个没事作的闲人很无聊的开始比较起谁的 BCG 最大，轮到我的时候，因为袖子太长了，所以就一直拉不上而不能秀出我的 BCG。
「太肥了啦，看不到。」 我自嘲。
「不要紧啦。」 他说。
然后他们全都跑到厨房去了，厨房很热，所以我就一个人待在前厅里。刚洗完澡，天气又凉凉的，有一种昏昏欲睡的感觉，很舒服。
中厅只开了一盏灯，于是，前厅就显得阴暗了。突然，「石头」 像小孩子般的，蹦蹦跳跳来到了我面前，脸上还挂着天真无邪的笑容，我有一点惊讶，他平时都酷酷的。
「干嘛啊你？这么开心？」 我好奇的问道。
「没有啊，呵呵。」 他笑着对我说。
接着，他竟然伸手翻了翻我的领口，我们的距离好近好近，我用尽全身的力气把自己硬压在那里而不逃走。他还拉了我的领口一下，示意要把我的衣服扯开，我简直就傻住了，这跟我认识的他 （虽然不是很久） 完全不同！还好他及时停手，要不我就要让他吃拳头了！
「跟你玩的啦！」 他一脸俏皮的笑着对我说，然后就跑回厨房了。
好了啦，这篇我就写了两天，而且是工作的时候偷懒写的 （这几天其实也蛮轻松的啦），那么就这样啦！
下篇持续！
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
爱上了。。。
最近疯狂爱上柏原崇。
上星期买了一大堆VCD回家，其中就有日本经典搞笑日剧 － 「恶作剧之吻」。那是一部我很久以前所看过的剧集，大概中三的时候吧。当时就觉得片中的入江植树很帅，简直就是漫画里走出来的人嘛 （这是现在的感想，当时根本不看漫画），怎么会有男生长这么可爱！
虽然觉得戏中的琴子很吵，整部片子也很白痴无聊，但是还是因为柏原崇的缘故，而一直追看到最后。剧集播完后，就再也没看到他的戏，直至 「情书」。他再次扮演一位花一般的少年，太可怜了！总觉得他被自己清秀的外表所局限了，怪无奈的。之后也没特别留意他的消息。
那天之所以会买那么旧的片子是因为它便宜，哈哈，对啊，我就～～～是那么吝啬！最近日剧都被丢在角落，被遗忘了。取而代之的是一叠又叠的韩剧。
我恨透韩剧了！
节奏超慢，配音差，大部分男主角更是让我看了就想喷饭！也因为这阵不知从何而来的韩风，令得我最哈的日剧被摆在一旁，说来也可笑，我却因这股韩流而捡到了便宜，真不知是喜是悲呐！
总之就是突然爱上了柏原崇啦，还上网搜集他各式各样的照片呢！其实我对他的事真是一无所知，是单纯喜欢他的脸而已，就好像一幅很完美的艺术品，你不需要去了解它，只要会欣赏它的美就够了 （好像有点在形容女人）。
这么说的我也许很肤浅，但这应该也是最直截了当的了。
对了，最近有部新的惊悚片，名为 「黑夜」，刚开始时是蛮想去看的，但其后又犹豫了，因为感觉就跟 「三更」 差不多一样 － 三个来自不同国家的恐怖故事。
可是最近我发现了一个会促使我去看这部戏的因素。
BINGO！就是「他」了！请大家多多支持哦！
上星期买了一大堆VCD回家，其中就有日本经典搞笑日剧 － 「恶作剧之吻」。那是一部我很久以前所看过的剧集，大概中三的时候吧。当时就觉得片中的入江植树很帅，简直就是漫画里走出来的人嘛 （这是现在的感想，当时根本不看漫画），怎么会有男生长这么可爱！
虽然觉得戏中的琴子很吵，整部片子也很白痴无聊，但是还是因为柏原崇的缘故，而一直追看到最后。剧集播完后，就再也没看到他的戏，直至 「情书」。他再次扮演一位花一般的少年，太可怜了！总觉得他被自己清秀的外表所局限了，怪无奈的。之后也没特别留意他的消息。
那天之所以会买那么旧的片子是因为它便宜，哈哈，对啊，我就～～～是那么吝啬！最近日剧都被丢在角落，被遗忘了。取而代之的是一叠又叠的韩剧。
我恨透韩剧了！
节奏超慢，配音差，大部分男主角更是让我看了就想喷饭！也因为这阵不知从何而来的韩风，令得我最哈的日剧被摆在一旁，说来也可笑，我却因这股韩流而捡到了便宜，真不知是喜是悲呐！
总之就是突然爱上了柏原崇啦，还上网搜集他各式各样的照片呢！其实我对他的事真是一无所知，是单纯喜欢他的脸而已，就好像一幅很完美的艺术品，你不需要去了解它，只要会欣赏它的美就够了 （好像有点在形容女人）。
这么说的我也许很肤浅，但这应该也是最直截了当的了。
对了，最近有部新的惊悚片，名为 「黑夜」，刚开始时是蛮想去看的，但其后又犹豫了，因为感觉就跟 「三更」 差不多一样 － 三个来自不同国家的恐怖故事。
可是最近我发现了一个会促使我去看这部戏的因素。
BINGO！就是「他」了！请大家多多支持哦！
Friday, June 16, 2006
Sick Cat
Right now, i'm sitting in my office with a runny nose and a phlegm-filled sore throat. Thank God It's Friday! Maybe i should go to TGIF then? Hmmm...
Applied online to SIA as their flight stewardess 2 weeks ago but still no replies. Well, the day after I submitted my resume, I logged into their website and found my submission indicated as "Screening". I was hopeful then, at least it was being screened. And I got this email from them asking me to complete an online assessment. But every time I tried to do it, it said that I've done it already. Ok. The "Screening" indication continued for a few days before it totally disappeared and no further indication was provided. Man, i'm beginning to worry.
No matter what, I'm going to their walk-in interview when they come to Malaysia. I'm determined to get this job, just hope it will come true
I would really lurrrrvvvvvvvvvve to have this job! Who wouldn't, right? You get to fly all around the world and meet different people everyday on top of gaining invaluable experiences! Frankly speaking, aside from SIA, I'm not really interested with other airlines, since they're one of the bests around (and the pay is great!). However, if I fail, I might try out others. Well, can't think about failure now, must think about success!
I went to www.cabincrew.com and read about other wannabe cabin crews' experiences. It might surprise you that eventhough you possess a good education and work background in addition to having good looks, it doesn't necessarily guarantee you a place in the judges' heart during an airline interview. They can be extremely tough, especially SIA, I heard. Some girls went a few times but still haven't get recruited. From what I've read, it largely depends on luck too.
Recently, I have one friend from college who attended an interview conducted by Qatar Airways and she got it
Shyan really supports me in it. But then he supports me in everything I do. I really feel extremely fortunate to have him for my boyfriend.
Gotta get back to work now. Talk later!
Applied online to SIA as their flight stewardess 2 weeks ago but still no replies. Well, the day after I submitted my resume, I logged into their website and found my submission indicated as "Screening". I was hopeful then, at least it was being screened. And I got this email from them asking me to complete an online assessment. But every time I tried to do it, it said that I've done it already. Ok. The "Screening" indication continued for a few days before it totally disappeared and no further indication was provided. Man, i'm beginning to worry.
No matter what, I'm going to their walk-in interview when they come to Malaysia. I'm determined to get this job, just hope it will come true
I would really lurrrrvvvvvvvvvve to have this job! Who wouldn't, right? You get to fly all around the world and meet different people everyday on top of gaining invaluable experiences! Frankly speaking, aside from SIA, I'm not really interested with other airlines, since they're one of the bests around (and the pay is great!). However, if I fail, I might try out others. Well, can't think about failure now, must think about success!
I went to www.cabincrew.com and read about other wannabe cabin crews' experiences. It might surprise you that eventhough you possess a good education and work background in addition to having good looks, it doesn't necessarily guarantee you a place in the judges' heart during an airline interview. They can be extremely tough, especially SIA, I heard. Some girls went a few times but still haven't get recruited. From what I've read, it largely depends on luck too.
Recently, I have one friend from college who attended an interview conducted by Qatar Airways and she got it
Shyan really supports me in it. But then he supports me in everything I do. I really feel extremely fortunate to have him for my boyfriend.
Gotta get back to work now. Talk later!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Evil Vanquisher...
No, I dunno whether there is a word like "vanquisher", but I'm almost certain there isn't. Whatever. Bear with the facts that yours truly ain't got an elaborate vocabulary to boast of, so there.
Recently, I started reading a Manga series entitled Akumetsu. The literal translation for that is the Evil Vanquisher. Nah, the Vanquisher doesn't go around killing vampires or weird monsters. But he does go on a killing spree of Japanese politicians who are corrupted and deemed evil by himself.
I think that's the biggest problem faced by the world today - corrupted politicians, who consequentially turn out equally corrupted governments. I can understand why the author came up with a story like that, albeit I'm none too keen on the world of fucked-up politics.
After all, I'm sure most of us out here have had a taste of the efficiency-deprived and probably fraudulent government. Don't be too sad, though, it happens everywhere in the world. It has become a disease most of us have begun to turn a blind eye to. Not that you could have done anything about it anyway.
Anyways, in the story, the Akumetsu kills off all the political big shots who do a great deal of dirty jobs with the taxpayers' dollars, on top of twisting the truth in order to legalize their evil deeds. They die gruesome deaths, I tell you.
One got a head burst with a flare gun. Another got his fingers fired off one by one before the Vanquisher finally showed his mercy and ended his misery. Some were burned alive while another was wedge-locked to the top of a Countach moving in high speed towards a half-built bridge. Needless to say, the poor guy was shattered to pieces with the vehicle before it exploded altogether. What a way to die!
The manga author must have tried killing the likes of these corrupted men a thousand million times in his dreams, I guess. Well, mangas have always mirrored what we can't do in reality, be it limited either by our mortality or the boundary of the laws.
The story might have sounded a bit extremist or even terroristic. But it's still the raw feeling and thought all of us humans experience, isn't it? If unrestricted, every single one of us would have got rid of any obstacles unlucky enough to be caught in our paths, eh?
Along with every killing, an Akumetsu will die too. As the saying goes, an eye for an eye. Therefore, it was a perfectly fair deal. Deeper into the tale, it was revealed that Akumetsus were actually clones in a super-human experiment. When one of them dies on a mission, the tribal mask they wear while completing their missions will self-destruct by exploding. The mask has a chip which was linked to the memory part of the brain, therefore, their total recollection til that final second would be trasmitted straight back to the next replacement clone in the lab.
Knowing these, you might think that it isn't fair after all, that the politicians have to die a total death whereas the Vanquishers may live on as clones. Well, perhaps you could try to remember that clones aren't machines or dolls without emotions or feelings. They are every bit as human as us, only their creator is not the Almighty God, if you have a belief, but us. We could very well be the creations that recreate, which is why human cloning is banned due to the question of ethics.
My point is, you won't think of 1+1=2 any less correct than what it should be if it's calculated by a calculator and not by human brain, rite?
Moreover, the Vanquisher clones did have their own lives prior to carrying out the mission. They went to school or work and even had to be scolded by the boss like you and me.
Something really needs to be done to the government of this country. Just look at how a certain ethnicity is given privileges even though they don't deserve it, if you ask me (and a whole lot of other people). And in contrast, how deprived the others are, of education, financial loans, etc.
This ethnicity in question can have rock bottom bad grades but still gain a place in prestigious education institutions, whereas others have to work twice as hard to get in even though their results and performance are a million times better. Talk about double standards. We are humans all the same, aren't we? So treat us equally!
That same ethnic group could even purchase properties at much lower prices than the others because the government says they are the native race of this country. Bullshit! You could say that if all the others were not born and bred here. But they are! Aren't we all your countrymen just the same?
And the willful government still has the guts to grumble about us not being patriotic and loyal enough to the country. What fools would pledge loyalty to a country that does not recognize their value as a people?
I suspect the people governing our country had been abducted by aliens from a faraway planet and stuffed with bullshit in their pathetic brains.
Recently, I started reading a Manga series entitled Akumetsu. The literal translation for that is the Evil Vanquisher. Nah, the Vanquisher doesn't go around killing vampires or weird monsters. But he does go on a killing spree of Japanese politicians who are corrupted and deemed evil by himself.
I think that's the biggest problem faced by the world today - corrupted politicians, who consequentially turn out equally corrupted governments. I can understand why the author came up with a story like that, albeit I'm none too keen on the world of fucked-up politics.
After all, I'm sure most of us out here have had a taste of the efficiency-deprived and probably fraudulent government. Don't be too sad, though, it happens everywhere in the world. It has become a disease most of us have begun to turn a blind eye to. Not that you could have done anything about it anyway.
Anyways, in the story, the Akumetsu kills off all the political big shots who do a great deal of dirty jobs with the taxpayers' dollars, on top of twisting the truth in order to legalize their evil deeds. They die gruesome deaths, I tell you.
One got a head burst with a flare gun. Another got his fingers fired off one by one before the Vanquisher finally showed his mercy and ended his misery. Some were burned alive while another was wedge-locked to the top of a Countach moving in high speed towards a half-built bridge. Needless to say, the poor guy was shattered to pieces with the vehicle before it exploded altogether. What a way to die!
The manga author must have tried killing the likes of these corrupted men a thousand million times in his dreams, I guess. Well, mangas have always mirrored what we can't do in reality, be it limited either by our mortality or the boundary of the laws.
The story might have sounded a bit extremist or even terroristic. But it's still the raw feeling and thought all of us humans experience, isn't it? If unrestricted, every single one of us would have got rid of any obstacles unlucky enough to be caught in our paths, eh?
Along with every killing, an Akumetsu will die too. As the saying goes, an eye for an eye. Therefore, it was a perfectly fair deal. Deeper into the tale, it was revealed that Akumetsus were actually clones in a super-human experiment. When one of them dies on a mission, the tribal mask they wear while completing their missions will self-destruct by exploding. The mask has a chip which was linked to the memory part of the brain, therefore, their total recollection til that final second would be trasmitted straight back to the next replacement clone in the lab.
Knowing these, you might think that it isn't fair after all, that the politicians have to die a total death whereas the Vanquishers may live on as clones. Well, perhaps you could try to remember that clones aren't machines or dolls without emotions or feelings. They are every bit as human as us, only their creator is not the Almighty God, if you have a belief, but us. We could very well be the creations that recreate, which is why human cloning is banned due to the question of ethics.
My point is, you won't think of 1+1=2 any less correct than what it should be if it's calculated by a calculator and not by human brain, rite?
Moreover, the Vanquisher clones did have their own lives prior to carrying out the mission. They went to school or work and even had to be scolded by the boss like you and me.
Something really needs to be done to the government of this country. Just look at how a certain ethnicity is given privileges even though they don't deserve it, if you ask me (and a whole lot of other people). And in contrast, how deprived the others are, of education, financial loans, etc.
This ethnicity in question can have rock bottom bad grades but still gain a place in prestigious education institutions, whereas others have to work twice as hard to get in even though their results and performance are a million times better. Talk about double standards. We are humans all the same, aren't we? So treat us equally!
That same ethnic group could even purchase properties at much lower prices than the others because the government says they are the native race of this country. Bullshit! You could say that if all the others were not born and bred here. But they are! Aren't we all your countrymen just the same?
And the willful government still has the guts to grumble about us not being patriotic and loyal enough to the country. What fools would pledge loyalty to a country that does not recognize their value as a people?
I suspect the people governing our country had been abducted by aliens from a faraway planet and stuffed with bullshit in their pathetic brains.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Friends...
I was looking through one of my friends' blog on Friendster the other day and checking out her photo album. Haven't seen her in a long time. So much had happened in her life and I wasn't there to witness or to share. Her pictures also told of many interesting stories she shared with another one of my long-time-no-see friends. I have lotsa friends like that, ya know. Lazy, after all.
I started to feel envious, and maybe a wee bit jealous as well. Jealousy - ugly emotion, hate that word. Anyways, I began to feel left out.
We used to be close, the three of us. We used to be roomates and neighbours in the hostel back in college. Those girls are real fun to have around. And yeah, we had the craziest times together. Hiding each other's clothes when the other was having a shower in the hostel's public washroom; disturbing and making noises when one was mugging for exams; singing beside the hostel bedroom window in the wee hours of the morning while cramming for major tests; being yelled at by other hostel mates for being to noisy during exam periods; laughing at people we scorn. You name it, we had done it all like loonies on the moon.
I could talk to them about anything. They never judged me. I don't remember a time that I was feeling sad or used when I was with them. Those were often what I felt from time to time when I'm with my other friends. We would babble away like we never missed a day in our lives without each other in it even though truth says otherwise. They were the best kind of friends I've come across in a long, long time. Probably there never will be others like them again in my life.
Therefore, I thought we would still be really close friends even if we don't meet that often. For a while, things stayed that way. They would still ask me out even if I don't do that and we still meet up, albeit in quite a long time. I don't blame them, they cared for me so they probably didn't wanna impose themselves on me because I was busy spending time with my boyfriend. He used to be away from me a lot - going back to hometown visiting his parents, studying in UK for three months, doing internship, blah blah blah...
Hence, every time he finds the time to be around, I tend to hang on to him like super glue. Thus, neglecting time with my friends, I guess. But these 2 friends of mine were very understanding, so I didn't think that was any problem at all.
However, gradually, I began to lose track of the topics they talked about. The places that they went together; new friends they made; bad habits one of them picked up; BGRs that were never meant to be; all those and more...further and further I drifted away from their world. I was optimistic,"As long as we are still friends, I'm happy," I thought.
That shouldn't be the case. How silly of me to take everything for granted. To take them for granted. I realize my inadequecy only now. Although they didn't say anything about it, I guess subconsciously they think I didn't care as much. But being the good old souls they are, they were still very endearing to me.
As I said, I was browsing through one of these wonderful girls' blog. It occurred to me I was the one constantly doing the taking and seldom the giving. All of a sudden, I felt ashamed despised myself for the things that I've done. They and I myself know I'm lazy to keep in touch with friends, but this time, I just might have gone overboard.
Feeling guilty, I wanted to make up for my past mistakes immediately. I know that takes time. But I couldn't wait. So I sms to each of them, saying we should probably go out together some time soon. One of them didn't reply, as with always. She seldom replies my sms, that woman. But I can assure you she's a good friend to have. And guess what, she has the very same surname as me! My surname is damn rare, ya know.
The other one called me and apologized for not having the time to see me for such a long time. Geez, I felt wretched, I was the one who should be sorry! She said she was busy with her finals and that she had finally graduated from these couple of hellish years in university. However, she'd just gone back to Kuching last Sunday. I was flabbergasted. I didn't even know that! And here she was in Kuching, probably for good. As much as I felt sorry, I felt hurt.
I guess the other girl would probably never reply my sms. Will this friendship of mine be gone with the wind?
Time will tell.
Serves me right for being so selfish and lazy.
Happy now, Old Man upstairs?
I started to feel envious, and maybe a wee bit jealous as well. Jealousy - ugly emotion, hate that word. Anyways, I began to feel left out.
We used to be close, the three of us. We used to be roomates and neighbours in the hostel back in college. Those girls are real fun to have around. And yeah, we had the craziest times together. Hiding each other's clothes when the other was having a shower in the hostel's public washroom; disturbing and making noises when one was mugging for exams; singing beside the hostel bedroom window in the wee hours of the morning while cramming for major tests; being yelled at by other hostel mates for being to noisy during exam periods; laughing at people we scorn. You name it, we had done it all like loonies on the moon.
I could talk to them about anything. They never judged me. I don't remember a time that I was feeling sad or used when I was with them. Those were often what I felt from time to time when I'm with my other friends. We would babble away like we never missed a day in our lives without each other in it even though truth says otherwise. They were the best kind of friends I've come across in a long, long time. Probably there never will be others like them again in my life.
Therefore, I thought we would still be really close friends even if we don't meet that often. For a while, things stayed that way. They would still ask me out even if I don't do that and we still meet up, albeit in quite a long time. I don't blame them, they cared for me so they probably didn't wanna impose themselves on me because I was busy spending time with my boyfriend. He used to be away from me a lot - going back to hometown visiting his parents, studying in UK for three months, doing internship, blah blah blah...
Hence, every time he finds the time to be around, I tend to hang on to him like super glue. Thus, neglecting time with my friends, I guess. But these 2 friends of mine were very understanding, so I didn't think that was any problem at all.
However, gradually, I began to lose track of the topics they talked about. The places that they went together; new friends they made; bad habits one of them picked up; BGRs that were never meant to be; all those and more...further and further I drifted away from their world. I was optimistic,"As long as we are still friends, I'm happy," I thought.
That shouldn't be the case. How silly of me to take everything for granted. To take them for granted. I realize my inadequecy only now. Although they didn't say anything about it, I guess subconsciously they think I didn't care as much. But being the good old souls they are, they were still very endearing to me.
As I said, I was browsing through one of these wonderful girls' blog. It occurred to me I was the one constantly doing the taking and seldom the giving. All of a sudden, I felt ashamed despised myself for the things that I've done. They and I myself know I'm lazy to keep in touch with friends, but this time, I just might have gone overboard.
Feeling guilty, I wanted to make up for my past mistakes immediately. I know that takes time. But I couldn't wait. So I sms to each of them, saying we should probably go out together some time soon. One of them didn't reply, as with always. She seldom replies my sms, that woman. But I can assure you she's a good friend to have. And guess what, she has the very same surname as me! My surname is damn rare, ya know.
The other one called me and apologized for not having the time to see me for such a long time. Geez, I felt wretched, I was the one who should be sorry! She said she was busy with her finals and that she had finally graduated from these couple of hellish years in university. However, she'd just gone back to Kuching last Sunday. I was flabbergasted. I didn't even know that! And here she was in Kuching, probably for good. As much as I felt sorry, I felt hurt.
I guess the other girl would probably never reply my sms. Will this friendship of mine be gone with the wind?
Time will tell.
Serves me right for being so selfish and lazy.
Happy now, Old Man upstairs?
Monday, May 01, 2006
Devious World...
Watched Malaysia Superstar Grand Finale on Saturday. The final result really makes me wonder...Are Malaysians today really that shallow?
The male champion is John an the female champion is Desiree. So during the finale, the two of them are gonna compete against each other for the grand throne of Malaysia Superstar.
And geez, any fool can see that the one who's the real thing, the one who could really carry a tune was Desiree. John's voice was weak, although it was considered good for a guy. But I don't think we should judge them on relative terms in this case. To me, John was just not up to standard.
He won simply because of his fans' votes. That was totally unfair since votes from the public carried 70% of the overall marks while the judges' decision only carried 30%! Anyone can see it was just a way for Magnum and other organizers to rake in millions from gullible Malaysians. Well, they have succeeded.
Wanna know why so many voted for John? Well, here's what I thought:
He was such a crybaby that he cried whenever there was a chance; whether he was happy or sad or someone got kicked out of the bogus competition. Basically, just any time. I think this makes the fans feel that they can really relate to him and that he is just a regular guy after all. It's good, actually, but I just wish he had more talent.
As we all know, girls are more easily involved in voting activities like these. Moreover, they might even think that John was a prince charming anyway. Therefore, he got more votes than Desiree.
Desiree, on the other hand, was cool and composed and was talented to boot. Poor girl, she was so badly misunderstood that most viewers mistook her for being cold and aloof. What the heck, at least she could really sing!
All in all, Desiree's talent will take her far while John would probably fade away to nothing, if you ask me. Cruel thing to say. But I guess John should know the reason that enabled him to gain access to the champion of this contest. Therefore, if he doesn't buckle up and improve, Desiree would overtake him in a flash (she already has).
The male champion is John an the female champion is Desiree. So during the finale, the two of them are gonna compete against each other for the grand throne of Malaysia Superstar.
And geez, any fool can see that the one who's the real thing, the one who could really carry a tune was Desiree. John's voice was weak, although it was considered good for a guy. But I don't think we should judge them on relative terms in this case. To me, John was just not up to standard.
He won simply because of his fans' votes. That was totally unfair since votes from the public carried 70% of the overall marks while the judges' decision only carried 30%! Anyone can see it was just a way for Magnum and other organizers to rake in millions from gullible Malaysians. Well, they have succeeded.
Wanna know why so many voted for John? Well, here's what I thought:
He was such a crybaby that he cried whenever there was a chance; whether he was happy or sad or someone got kicked out of the bogus competition. Basically, just any time. I think this makes the fans feel that they can really relate to him and that he is just a regular guy after all. It's good, actually, but I just wish he had more talent.
As we all know, girls are more easily involved in voting activities like these. Moreover, they might even think that John was a prince charming anyway. Therefore, he got more votes than Desiree.
Desiree, on the other hand, was cool and composed and was talented to boot. Poor girl, she was so badly misunderstood that most viewers mistook her for being cold and aloof. What the heck, at least she could really sing!
All in all, Desiree's talent will take her far while John would probably fade away to nothing, if you ask me. Cruel thing to say. But I guess John should know the reason that enabled him to gain access to the champion of this contest. Therefore, if he doesn't buckle up and improve, Desiree would overtake him in a flash (she already has).
Friday, April 28, 2006
Eh?
It's Friday night and yours truly is still slogging away at the office, with poops trying to squeeze themselves out my asshole but there isn't enough moisture, it seems. I get probs like that sometimes, what you call constipation. It's gotten a lot better, though.
Sigh...my own fault. Creative juices are drying. That's why I can't get a good design out to my boss. That's why I have to do this fucking job on a rainy Friday night.
Man, I just wanna dash home and spend some quality time with my guy. Monday's Labour Day, for God's sake! Well, which is why I wanna get everything over and done with tonight. Then I won't have to fret about it anymore.
Sunday's Mother's Day but I ain't gonna be home to visit Mom. Guess I'm the most unfilial daughter you'd ever see. Come here, take a picture then. No, honestly, like other people, I'm just beginning to notice how old my parents have become.
Thought of providing them a comfortable life in which they would not need to worry about money or other cruel facets of life, too. But I guess I'm such a lazy bum it will be a helluva long time for me to achieve that. Sometimes I really do wish I have more drive.
Wondering why I'm slogging away but still have the time to blog? Well, my machine is the slowest of its kind so I have to wait for the files to open up. Anyways, gotta get back to work.
Sigh...my own fault. Creative juices are drying. That's why I can't get a good design out to my boss. That's why I have to do this fucking job on a rainy Friday night.
Man, I just wanna dash home and spend some quality time with my guy. Monday's Labour Day, for God's sake! Well, which is why I wanna get everything over and done with tonight. Then I won't have to fret about it anymore.
Sunday's Mother's Day but I ain't gonna be home to visit Mom. Guess I'm the most unfilial daughter you'd ever see. Come here, take a picture then. No, honestly, like other people, I'm just beginning to notice how old my parents have become.
Thought of providing them a comfortable life in which they would not need to worry about money or other cruel facets of life, too. But I guess I'm such a lazy bum it will be a helluva long time for me to achieve that. Sometimes I really do wish I have more drive.
Wondering why I'm slogging away but still have the time to blog? Well, my machine is the slowest of its kind so I have to wait for the files to open up. Anyways, gotta get back to work.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Fly Girl?
I woke up with a slight headache today. I didn't sleep very late last night. So what the...? Mmm, probably because I was up doing something I shouldn't be doing. Haha, curious? Guess then!
Anyways, the slight disturbance this morning developed into heavy lethargy by the time I made it to the bus. I was in a damn uncomfortable position in my seat, thinking, "Man, I wish I'm sitting beside the window," glancing at the guy next to me.
I was still half awake when I saw it. It came in the form of an elongated round diamond (forgive me if my description sucks, I forgot the name of the shape), contained by black fabric. By now, the girl was standing in front of me and smiling at me apologetically as she accidentally pushed my leg.
I looked away, not knowing what to do or say. How was I gonna say it anyway? I've never been in this situation before, at least not with a girl. I thought of continuing with my doze, but I hesitated for 2 minutes more before I could stand it no more.
I tapped on her wrist, she she brought her head down closer to hear, but not quite close enough. Shit, I can't speak that loud, but it was noisy because the bus was packed.
"Hmm, miss, your fly is undone..." I muttered under my breath. I wasn't even sure what expression I should show on my face!
She lowered her head in a flash and looked at me with a look of sheer disbelief. Then she pulled her coat together to cover the wide opening, flashing the top of her white panties and some of her tummy.
I guess she couldn't bear to zip it straight away because the motion would be too obvious and everyone would now. Although, I thought that perhaps the guy beside me already noticed, he looked away out the window once the girl came up. I mean, it was soooo obvious. Her lower body was smack at eye level for those of us sitting down.
I felt sorry for her, I really did. Afterwards, she simply couldn't look me in the eye (not even as a whole, I guess). She kept her eyes straight in front and wouldn't even take the seat beside me when it was vacated. Well, she was standing closest to me so normally would have taken it, right?
First time I'm in this situation. I really couldn't stand that a girl is flashing herself unknowingly and suddenly realize it only in the afternoon. How many people would she had flashed by then? It's humiliating. But luckily I'm a girl, or else I would be like the guy next to me on the bus. I mean, for a girl, if a guy came up to her and say that she didn't zip her fly, she probably would think he's a psycho, right? Although she might feel a teeny weeny bit grateful.
However, I would really appreciate someone telling it to me rather than realizing it only afterwards, if it's really apparent. I would be doubly embarassed if a guy tells me but as long as he doesn't look weird, it should be ok.
There, I sure hope it doesn't happen to me, though.
Anyways, the slight disturbance this morning developed into heavy lethargy by the time I made it to the bus. I was in a damn uncomfortable position in my seat, thinking, "Man, I wish I'm sitting beside the window," glancing at the guy next to me.
I was still half awake when I saw it. It came in the form of an elongated round diamond (forgive me if my description sucks, I forgot the name of the shape), contained by black fabric. By now, the girl was standing in front of me and smiling at me apologetically as she accidentally pushed my leg.
I looked away, not knowing what to do or say. How was I gonna say it anyway? I've never been in this situation before, at least not with a girl. I thought of continuing with my doze, but I hesitated for 2 minutes more before I could stand it no more.
I tapped on her wrist, she she brought her head down closer to hear, but not quite close enough. Shit, I can't speak that loud, but it was noisy because the bus was packed.
"Hmm, miss, your fly is undone..." I muttered under my breath. I wasn't even sure what expression I should show on my face!
She lowered her head in a flash and looked at me with a look of sheer disbelief. Then she pulled her coat together to cover the wide opening, flashing the top of her white panties and some of her tummy.
I guess she couldn't bear to zip it straight away because the motion would be too obvious and everyone would now. Although, I thought that perhaps the guy beside me already noticed, he looked away out the window once the girl came up. I mean, it was soooo obvious. Her lower body was smack at eye level for those of us sitting down.
I felt sorry for her, I really did. Afterwards, she simply couldn't look me in the eye (not even as a whole, I guess). She kept her eyes straight in front and wouldn't even take the seat beside me when it was vacated. Well, she was standing closest to me so normally would have taken it, right?
First time I'm in this situation. I really couldn't stand that a girl is flashing herself unknowingly and suddenly realize it only in the afternoon. How many people would she had flashed by then? It's humiliating. But luckily I'm a girl, or else I would be like the guy next to me on the bus. I mean, for a girl, if a guy came up to her and say that she didn't zip her fly, she probably would think he's a psycho, right? Although she might feel a teeny weeny bit grateful.
However, I would really appreciate someone telling it to me rather than realizing it only afterwards, if it's really apparent. I would be doubly embarassed if a guy tells me but as long as he doesn't look weird, it should be ok.
There, I sure hope it doesn't happen to me, though.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
自怜的我
前天晚上我哭了。这几天实在是太忙碌了，老板把一大堆的工作抛来，而顾客也不停的在施压，我实在是受不了也忍无可忍了！So I cracked.Damn.
真的是好久都没这样哭了，很过瘾。我一下班回家（晚上十点半左右）眼泪就西里哗啦的流了出来，我也任性的打了电话给信贤哭诉，我很坏吧！I think I really messed up his mind. 因为我竟然说很想死，这当然令他很担心，想马上就从砂劳越飞回来，超感动的说！哈哈！
他能早点回来的话我当然很高兴啦，不过我也明白他需要 spend more time with his parents. 所以我就说不要了，我也不想他的父母真的觉得我在跟他们抢，嘻嘻。感谢主，这次信贤回砂劳越，我也处理得较上次好了，而且 according to him, 好很多耶！我当真是跨前一大步喽！这样的话就不会每次都搞得他左右为难啦，爱你哟，老公！
Anyways, 哭了之后舒服了许多，问题是，我竞不能停止了！就那样坐在阳台边，一直哭·一直哭，我甚至以为我快要疯了！竟然工作成这个样子，实在是不值得呐！还好我早已决定四月就交辞职信了，那时就能脱离苦海啦，哈哈！如果说忙成这样但还能够从中得到满足感，那倒不错，但坏就坏在，我一点这种感觉都没有！我根本就不喜欢我现在的工作，其实说穿了，我也不知道我到底想要些什么啦。
当我在哭泣的同时，我突然听见了许多轰隆隆的声响，我赶紧跑到阳台栏杆旁，许多七彩斑斓的花朵在吉隆坡的天空绽放着，实在是美极了！这时我才想起，那正是华人拜天宫的日子，原来吉隆坡的神庙是那么注重那一天的啊。不过我和我家人是从来都不拜天宫的啦，也不知是否因为籍贯的关系，话说回来，我们连七月半也不拜了。
那样的情况（烟火）持续了两个小时左右，我真的没见过这么多的烟火在那么多不一样的地方同时涌上天空，可算是奇观啦，连 New Year 或 Xmas Countdown 都没那么厉害哩！真的！相信我！
而我呢，就呆呆的站在那里，凝望着那在黑夜里绽放的一朵朵火花，特别是最靠近我的那些，每一个涌上夜空的烟火，我都喃喃的说了 “我爱信贤”，嘻嘻！感动吧，老公！这样的话，我就觉得我们能够长长久久，听起来是很傻啦，但做了就觉得很开心，我也看到了好几盏孔明灯，我对它们说了同样的话，哈！
忘了说了，有些烟花坠落的时候像极了天上掉下来的流星，虽然我是没看过真的流星啦，但我还是对这些 “假流星” 许了愿，嘿嘿，当然是有关我和信贤的啦！流星是假，心、情意是真就行了嘛！
真的是好久都没这样哭了，很过瘾。我一下班回家（晚上十点半左右）眼泪就西里哗啦的流了出来，我也任性的打了电话给信贤哭诉，我很坏吧！I think I really messed up his mind. 因为我竟然说很想死，这当然令他很担心，想马上就从砂劳越飞回来，超感动的说！哈哈！
他能早点回来的话我当然很高兴啦，不过我也明白他需要 spend more time with his parents. 所以我就说不要了，我也不想他的父母真的觉得我在跟他们抢，嘻嘻。感谢主，这次信贤回砂劳越，我也处理得较上次好了，而且 according to him, 好很多耶！我当真是跨前一大步喽！这样的话就不会每次都搞得他左右为难啦，爱你哟，老公！
Anyways, 哭了之后舒服了许多，问题是，我竞不能停止了！就那样坐在阳台边，一直哭·一直哭，我甚至以为我快要疯了！竟然工作成这个样子，实在是不值得呐！还好我早已决定四月就交辞职信了，那时就能脱离苦海啦，哈哈！如果说忙成这样但还能够从中得到满足感，那倒不错，但坏就坏在，我一点这种感觉都没有！我根本就不喜欢我现在的工作，其实说穿了，我也不知道我到底想要些什么啦。
当我在哭泣的同时，我突然听见了许多轰隆隆的声响，我赶紧跑到阳台栏杆旁，许多七彩斑斓的花朵在吉隆坡的天空绽放着，实在是美极了！这时我才想起，那正是华人拜天宫的日子，原来吉隆坡的神庙是那么注重那一天的啊。不过我和我家人是从来都不拜天宫的啦，也不知是否因为籍贯的关系，话说回来，我们连七月半也不拜了。
那样的情况（烟火）持续了两个小时左右，我真的没见过这么多的烟火在那么多不一样的地方同时涌上天空，可算是奇观啦，连 New Year 或 Xmas Countdown 都没那么厉害哩！真的！相信我！
而我呢，就呆呆的站在那里，凝望着那在黑夜里绽放的一朵朵火花，特别是最靠近我的那些，每一个涌上夜空的烟火，我都喃喃的说了 “我爱信贤”，嘻嘻！感动吧，老公！这样的话，我就觉得我们能够长长久久，听起来是很傻啦，但做了就觉得很开心，我也看到了好几盏孔明灯，我对它们说了同样的话，哈！
忘了说了，有些烟花坠落的时候像极了天上掉下来的流星，虽然我是没看过真的流星啦，但我还是对这些 “假流星” 许了愿，嘿嘿，当然是有关我和信贤的啦！流星是假，心、情意是真就行了嘛！
Sunday, February 06, 2005
寂寞的夜晚。。。
信贤已经搭了傍晚 7。40pm 的班机会他老家了 － 沙劳越，因为他是搭 KL Sentral 的 KLIA Express 到机场的，所以我也跟到 KL Sentral 去送他了。而且我们还得来了一些意外的收获哦！信贤和我昨天去了 Sungai Wang 购物，他是想多买几件新年衣或是一双鞋子什么的，担都没看得上眼的，要不就是价钱超出预算或穿了不好看，结果走了一天却什么都没买，我们两最后还是拖着疲惫的身子回家。担今天呢，我们却在 KL Sentral 同时找到了我们都想买的东西呢！
他看中了一双鞋子，而且价钱还蛮便宜的呢！我也觉得那双鞋蛮棒的，颜色即特别担又不会有过于夸张的感觉，老公的眼光始终也是不错的，哈哈！而我呢，则买了一双我已经想买很久了的拖鞋，就是那种即可以穿出街又能很随性的休闲拖鞋，价钱也很棒哦！老公还买了一包肉干让我带回家去，虽然知道他只是回老家一个月左右，担还是会舍不得。唉，我就是这么依赖他，我当然明白他回老家是应该的，担还是贪心的想把他留在自己身边，真是觉得自己是个在跟他父母枪儿子的坏女人！当然，我不可能这么做，因为我不想当坏女人嘛（就算要做也不能做的那么出面，哈哈，开玩笑的啦！），担当他乘搭 Express 前往机场而离我身边而去之时，心里难免会浮现一种莫名的空虚感，毕竟我是个女人嘛，而且还是个超会胡思乱想的女人（外加自怜·自恋·自我中心，嘿嘿）。
啊，是时候该控制自己了，不应该每次都让老公这么担心我，每次都让他那么伤脑筋，我这样把他搞得一蹋糊涂也不是办法啊！真觉得自己超没用的说，我外表给人的感觉即强悍又自信，其实我哪个都不是，我的内心其实是个胆小鬼，怕头怕尾，又自卑，而且也非常在意别人的看法 － 跟这样的一个人交往，老公一定很累吧！我其实一直都在伪装我自己，我看其实是怕别人会发现我是一只没用的老鼠罢了。
不时会有以上的想法，担有时又觉得自己还蛮棒的，哈哈，人真是矛盾的动物！突然想起，老公昨天跟我说他根本就不了解他自己，我又何尝不是呢？自己到底是个什么样的人，这个类似先有蛋倘若先有鸡的深奥哲学问题，我早已放弃去追究了，即使找到了答案又怎样呢？我的生活不会因此而又巨大的改变啊，而且搞不好我还极度的讨厌真相呐！人不应该为了思考这种问题而浪费时间，或许我们都应该只活在现时才会快乐一点 － 适量的计划与思考是好的，担想的太多反而会物极必反。哈哈，反正我也不太喜欢用脑啦！我这种懒惰的家伙，只盼望傻人有傻福吧！
他看中了一双鞋子，而且价钱还蛮便宜的呢！我也觉得那双鞋蛮棒的，颜色即特别担又不会有过于夸张的感觉，老公的眼光始终也是不错的，哈哈！而我呢，则买了一双我已经想买很久了的拖鞋，就是那种即可以穿出街又能很随性的休闲拖鞋，价钱也很棒哦！老公还买了一包肉干让我带回家去，虽然知道他只是回老家一个月左右，担还是会舍不得。唉，我就是这么依赖他，我当然明白他回老家是应该的，担还是贪心的想把他留在自己身边，真是觉得自己是个在跟他父母枪儿子的坏女人！当然，我不可能这么做，因为我不想当坏女人嘛（就算要做也不能做的那么出面，哈哈，开玩笑的啦！），担当他乘搭 Express 前往机场而离我身边而去之时，心里难免会浮现一种莫名的空虚感，毕竟我是个女人嘛，而且还是个超会胡思乱想的女人（外加自怜·自恋·自我中心，嘿嘿）。
啊，是时候该控制自己了，不应该每次都让老公这么担心我，每次都让他那么伤脑筋，我这样把他搞得一蹋糊涂也不是办法啊！真觉得自己超没用的说，我外表给人的感觉即强悍又自信，其实我哪个都不是，我的内心其实是个胆小鬼，怕头怕尾，又自卑，而且也非常在意别人的看法 － 跟这样的一个人交往，老公一定很累吧！我其实一直都在伪装我自己，我看其实是怕别人会发现我是一只没用的老鼠罢了。
不时会有以上的想法，担有时又觉得自己还蛮棒的，哈哈，人真是矛盾的动物！突然想起，老公昨天跟我说他根本就不了解他自己，我又何尝不是呢？自己到底是个什么样的人，这个类似先有蛋倘若先有鸡的深奥哲学问题，我早已放弃去追究了，即使找到了答案又怎样呢？我的生活不会因此而又巨大的改变啊，而且搞不好我还极度的讨厌真相呐！人不应该为了思考这种问题而浪费时间，或许我们都应该只活在现时才会快乐一点 － 适量的计划与思考是好的，担想的太多反而会物极必反。哈哈，反正我也不太喜欢用脑啦！我这种懒惰的家伙，只盼望傻人有傻福吧！
Saturday, February 05, 2005
BAD SCARE 的续集。。。哈哈
总之我就是得交出 RM 89。90 给那个店员就对了啦！真是太心痛了！不过也没办法啦，谁叫我手疡啊！
OK， BACK TO MY BAD SCARE STORY。。。当我回到家的时候，我已经胡思乱想到不行了。因为他的室友乱奇怪的，所以我就在想他会不会是跟他室友起了争执，然后他室友伤了他·或更糟的是。。杀了他？我简直是吓坏了·我！这样的事我尽然都能想出来，不愧是读设计的，现在想起来都觉得超好笑的！我甚至把救他出来的方法都想好了！我想说假装要回去他家拿些东西什么的，要是他室友有所顾忌而不让我进去他们的房间的话，那就肯定有问题了！我是如此的聪明！哈哈哈！虽然当时也觉得自己疯了，但却告诉自己应该要勇敢，万一我所想的是真的那怎么办？我可不想有什么遗憾，特别是失去他的遗憾。就这样，我试打了最后一次电话给他，还是不通，所以我出门准备作战了。
当我走到我家楼下的保安室时，手机响了，是他打来的！我简直都快哭出来了（虽然我刚刚在房里已经哭过了）！但是我的情绪变化非常的快，刚刚是从开心到不耐烦到生气到担心到害怕，总之就是情绪参杂的乱七八糟的，到接到他的电话为止，我的 RELIEF 有变成生气了。他说他在网咖打电动，打电动？我简直快气昏了！我这么担心他，他尽然悠哉悠哉的在那里吹着冷气·打着电动，而我却流了一身的汉水而且担心的歇斯底里了！什么嘛！他是皮疡欠揍吗？气死我了！
哇！这故事好长！我还是长话短说吧，要不说到火星僮地球都不会说完。总之互相交代和解释过后，我们又一如往常般，恩恩爱爱的抱在一起了，他也哭了。他说觉得让我担心成这样实在是很不应该，他很抱歉。
经过了这件事之后，我发觉我真的是很爱这个男人，而他也同样的爱我。我很高兴，也觉得自己是世界上最幸福的人，竟然会有个如此爱我的人在身边。
OK， BACK TO MY BAD SCARE STORY。。。当我回到家的时候，我已经胡思乱想到不行了。因为他的室友乱奇怪的，所以我就在想他会不会是跟他室友起了争执，然后他室友伤了他·或更糟的是。。杀了他？我简直是吓坏了·我！这样的事我尽然都能想出来，不愧是读设计的，现在想起来都觉得超好笑的！我甚至把救他出来的方法都想好了！我想说假装要回去他家拿些东西什么的，要是他室友有所顾忌而不让我进去他们的房间的话，那就肯定有问题了！我是如此的聪明！哈哈哈！虽然当时也觉得自己疯了，但却告诉自己应该要勇敢，万一我所想的是真的那怎么办？我可不想有什么遗憾，特别是失去他的遗憾。就这样，我试打了最后一次电话给他，还是不通，所以我出门准备作战了。
当我走到我家楼下的保安室时，手机响了，是他打来的！我简直都快哭出来了（虽然我刚刚在房里已经哭过了）！但是我的情绪变化非常的快，刚刚是从开心到不耐烦到生气到担心到害怕，总之就是情绪参杂的乱七八糟的，到接到他的电话为止，我的 RELIEF 有变成生气了。他说他在网咖打电动，打电动？我简直快气昏了！我这么担心他，他尽然悠哉悠哉的在那里吹着冷气·打着电动，而我却流了一身的汉水而且担心的歇斯底里了！什么嘛！他是皮疡欠揍吗？气死我了！
哇！这故事好长！我还是长话短说吧，要不说到火星僮地球都不会说完。总之互相交代和解释过后，我们又一如往常般，恩恩爱爱的抱在一起了，他也哭了。他说觉得让我担心成这样实在是很不应该，他很抱歉。
经过了这件事之后，我发觉我真的是很爱这个男人，而他也同样的爱我。我很高兴，也觉得自己是世界上最幸福的人，竟然会有个如此爱我的人在身边。
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Bad scare...
I had the worst scare of my life last night, all thanks to my beloved boyfirend, Shin Shyan.
He called me at around 7pm last night and said he wanted to have dinner with me, so I told him I would misscall him when I reach home. I had so much to tell him about my day. I actually met a pschotic old junk in his sixties on the bus on my way to work. What bad luck! Well, it was the 13th after all, thank god it wasn't paired with a Friday, too! Haha!
Anyways, I think that old junk was a veteran in doing that. He simply "molested" me with his eyes only. He didn't do anything like touching me so that I really couldn't do anything to stop him. I mean, I wouldn't want to be touched by his filthy hands, EEUURRGGGHHH!!! But from the way he looked at me, I knew something was wrong. You know, women's six sense or whatever. I wasn't quite sure at first so I just ignored him at looked the other way. Then he began to make faces, subtle but more than obvious for me to know that I was right. I still tried to ignore him for quite a while but it didn't work. Finally, I glared at him. With all the hate and disgust in the universe, I glared at him. Guess what? He didn't even flinch! He just stared back at me with his wrinkly-skinned yellow eyes! What a jerk! I had no choice but to abandon that tactic. So I started looking the other way again. The bus was too jam-packed for me to move away from this "thing".
Meanwhile, he just kept checking me out from top to toe and back again. What nerves! I imagined punching him until his face becomes concave, like they do in comics. As time wore on, I became progressively disturbed. Next thing I knew, I was already telling him off. I said,"Tengok apa? Tengok banyak-banyak tu buat apa?!" He tried to act nonchalant but he actually stopped staring at me again! He actually dropped back his head and went to sleep! Served him right! Old junk! Haha! I felt so gratified!
Okay, that wasn't the scare I was talking about. Just another sicko, no threat to me. I used to run into them a lot and I've learned to deal with these craps of society, in other words,"yan za" (cantonese).
Listen to the scare now. So Shyan and me had a dinner date. I attempted to misscall him before I went in for a shower but couldn't get through. Oh well, the signal was sometimes bad in his room. So when I was done showering, I misscalled him again, but the same thing happened. I decided to just walk over to his house. I did this while still calling him. When I reached his house, the door was closed so I called out his name. No one answered and I realized that his slippers were not there. Therefore, I reckon he wasn't in. "Weird," I thought. He was always in when I came to his house.
Not thinking much about it, I went to Cybertime, the cybercafe he frequented, he wasn't there. Undaunted, I walked to R2, the comic shop we like to spend our time at. Not there. By this time, I was already boiling with rage. I was thinking how I would give him a piece of my mind when I find him. Why didn't he have the sense to call me and tell me where he is when he had made a date with me?! I did all this while still calling him but to no avail. I then tried asking his friends but they either didn't know his whereabouts or was also having difficulties calling him. I began to worry.
I walked back to his house and called his name many times. His housemate answered the door and asked his roomate whether he was in. The answer was negative. His roomate didn't even bother to open the bedroom door. Well, his roomate was a weird one, a bit psychotic too. You should have listened to what he did to his love rival. I had no othe chice but to return home. It was already 9.30pm. I first came out from my house at 9pm so I was hot and sweaty, angry and worried all at once. I began to think negative. I was wearing a pink tank and a beach shorts, carrying a cute little polka dot clutch I had just bought at the 100Yen shop because I had planned a relaxing night for us. Now I began to think that maybe wearing those shorts was a mistake. Bad things seem to happen when I am wearing them. I dented a Sigg bottle last Sunday at 1 Utama when I was out with Cheryl and her boyfriend. And I had to fork out R
He called me at around 7pm last night and said he wanted to have dinner with me, so I told him I would misscall him when I reach home. I had so much to tell him about my day. I actually met a pschotic old junk in his sixties on the bus on my way to work. What bad luck! Well, it was the 13th after all, thank god it wasn't paired with a Friday, too! Haha!
Anyways, I think that old junk was a veteran in doing that. He simply "molested" me with his eyes only. He didn't do anything like touching me so that I really couldn't do anything to stop him. I mean, I wouldn't want to be touched by his filthy hands, EEUURRGGGHHH!!! But from the way he looked at me, I knew something was wrong. You know, women's six sense or whatever. I wasn't quite sure at first so I just ignored him at looked the other way. Then he began to make faces, subtle but more than obvious for me to know that I was right. I still tried to ignore him for quite a while but it didn't work. Finally, I glared at him. With all the hate and disgust in the universe, I glared at him. Guess what? He didn't even flinch! He just stared back at me with his wrinkly-skinned yellow eyes! What a jerk! I had no choice but to abandon that tactic. So I started looking the other way again. The bus was too jam-packed for me to move away from this "thing".
Meanwhile, he just kept checking me out from top to toe and back again. What nerves! I imagined punching him until his face becomes concave, like they do in comics. As time wore on, I became progressively disturbed. Next thing I knew, I was already telling him off. I said,"Tengok apa? Tengok banyak-banyak tu buat apa?!" He tried to act nonchalant but he actually stopped staring at me again! He actually dropped back his head and went to sleep! Served him right! Old junk! Haha! I felt so gratified!
Okay, that wasn't the scare I was talking about. Just another sicko, no threat to me. I used to run into them a lot and I've learned to deal with these craps of society, in other words,"yan za" (cantonese).
Listen to the scare now. So Shyan and me had a dinner date. I attempted to misscall him before I went in for a shower but couldn't get through. Oh well, the signal was sometimes bad in his room. So when I was done showering, I misscalled him again, but the same thing happened. I decided to just walk over to his house. I did this while still calling him. When I reached his house, the door was closed so I called out his name. No one answered and I realized that his slippers were not there. Therefore, I reckon he wasn't in. "Weird," I thought. He was always in when I came to his house.
Not thinking much about it, I went to Cybertime, the cybercafe he frequented, he wasn't there. Undaunted, I walked to R2, the comic shop we like to spend our time at. Not there. By this time, I was already boiling with rage. I was thinking how I would give him a piece of my mind when I find him. Why didn't he have the sense to call me and tell me where he is when he had made a date with me?! I did all this while still calling him but to no avail. I then tried asking his friends but they either didn't know his whereabouts or was also having difficulties calling him. I began to worry.
I walked back to his house and called his name many times. His housemate answered the door and asked his roomate whether he was in. The answer was negative. His roomate didn't even bother to open the bedroom door. Well, his roomate was a weird one, a bit psychotic too. You should have listened to what he did to his love rival. I had no othe chice but to return home. It was already 9.30pm. I first came out from my house at 9pm so I was hot and sweaty, angry and worried all at once. I began to think negative. I was wearing a pink tank and a beach shorts, carrying a cute little polka dot clutch I had just bought at the 100Yen shop because I had planned a relaxing night for us. Now I began to think that maybe wearing those shorts was a mistake. Bad things seem to happen when I am wearing them. I dented a Sigg bottle last Sunday at 1 Utama when I was out with Cheryl and her boyfriend. And I had to fork out R
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Looking For an Answer...
It's Friday again in the blink of an eye. And I'm finding my life more and more unbearable. I used to have a really strong faith in pursuing my dream of becoming a graphic designer. The hold was so strong that I had came to KL alone, not even knowing if my parents would have enough money to see me through the whole 2 years of my Diploma. I came here out of my own free will. I was not like my other friends or teenagers my age because I had a firm knowledge of what I really wanted. I came here because of a dream. I had came here expecting nothing but believing that I would learn a lot that I would cherish all my life. I had fantasized about the outcome - the lifestyle,the convertible, whatever that I might reap if I did it right.
And I did - I graduated with distinction. But 2 years in that crap college had left me nothing but despair. I realized that I had wasted 2 years there and gained very little knowledge of the skills that I needed to equip myself with when I go out into the big bad world of advertising. I was left with the minimum defence just because I didn't possess the means to obtain a better education. I did get a loan. But how much could I possibly get with the lowest interet? So I borrowed from the government. But it wasn't enough. Hah! Now I feel relieved that it wasn't that much, or I won't be able to pay them back. From my own experience of job interviews and also my friends', it's apparent that designers do not command very high paychecks in this country. And we even have to endure those sneers from bosses because of our lack of knowledge. Damn the shit college for sucking us dry with the fees and giving us nothing but cancelled and unreplaced classes and equally bad lecturers!
I'm so disillusioned by this all. I've come to realize that I was too naive in the first place. I should have done more research. But it's too late. I have to face the music. It's not all that bad, just that my passion is lacking. I feel like such a zombie without a goal to reach for, after my first dream was shattered. Every day is just the same old routine repeating itself day after day, year after year. Do I want to live this way for the rest of my life? Who would want to, anyway?
I've been racking my brain for the past few months for a way out. Perhaps I should blame myself. If I won't help myself, who else will?
And I did - I graduated with distinction. But 2 years in that crap college had left me nothing but despair. I realized that I had wasted 2 years there and gained very little knowledge of the skills that I needed to equip myself with when I go out into the big bad world of advertising. I was left with the minimum defence just because I didn't possess the means to obtain a better education. I did get a loan. But how much could I possibly get with the lowest interet? So I borrowed from the government. But it wasn't enough. Hah! Now I feel relieved that it wasn't that much, or I won't be able to pay them back. From my own experience of job interviews and also my friends', it's apparent that designers do not command very high paychecks in this country. And we even have to endure those sneers from bosses because of our lack of knowledge. Damn the shit college for sucking us dry with the fees and giving us nothing but cancelled and unreplaced classes and equally bad lecturers!
I'm so disillusioned by this all. I've come to realize that I was too naive in the first place. I should have done more research. But it's too late. I have to face the music. It's not all that bad, just that my passion is lacking. I feel like such a zombie without a goal to reach for, after my first dream was shattered. Every day is just the same old routine repeating itself day after day, year after year. Do I want to live this way for the rest of my life? Who would want to, anyway?
I've been racking my brain for the past few months for a way out. Perhaps I should blame myself. If I won't help myself, who else will?
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Quiet Day...
It's Tuesday, 1708 hour here in Kuala Lumpur. The time is different from the one dictated by Blogger. And Yours Truly is so dumb that she doesn't even know how to reset it. Sorry.
It's been a real quiet day at work. Really bored. Nothing to do. Can't say I don't like it, when the goings get tough, I complain, so I shouldn't complain now, should I? I am getting really desperate to get outta this nine to five hell. I'm just not made out for this, I guess. No one is. I mean, how can anyone be made out to be a corpse in front of the computer for 8 straight hours? (OK, maybe I'm stretching it a bit, there's still lunch break...). But I totally hate being cooped up in an office most of the time!
I don't know what to write anymore. Stop here then. See ya.
It's been a real quiet day at work. Really bored. Nothing to do. Can't say I don't like it, when the goings get tough, I complain, so I shouldn't complain now, should I? I am getting really desperate to get outta this nine to five hell. I'm just not made out for this, I guess. No one is. I mean, how can anyone be made out to be a corpse in front of the computer for 8 straight hours? (OK, maybe I'm stretching it a bit, there's still lunch break...). But I totally hate being cooped up in an office most of the time!
I don't know what to write anymore. Stop here then. See ya.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Boring Sunday
Shyan went back at around 1230 hour, after staying at my house overnight. His house is far away - just a mere 2 blocks away from my own, actually. I'm so bored today, I didn't know what to do. I went out and bought a VCD entitled "A Beautiful Mind" starring Russell Crowe. Well, same old thing, it was the kinda boring film with a lot of meaning. After that, I really didn't know what to do!
Shyan says we shouldn't stick together every day. So, now I'm trying my very best to do just that. Sometimes, I feel quizzical. We live so close to each other, why can't we just be together whenever possible? But of course, he has his own social circle as well. Unlike me, a pathetic loner with no friends around here. All my ex-college mates have either left KL or moved to other parts of KL upon graduation. I like this place, where I'm living, that was why I stayed. And most importantly, I can stay close to Shyan. I really wish to spend more time with him before he goes to UK next year to finish his degree.
More often than not, things just won't happen as we want it to. Guess I'll just have to live with that. Shyan's a busy man. Hope I can be of help to him instead of a burden (which I am now) in the days to come. God bless us.
Shyan says we shouldn't stick together every day. So, now I'm trying my very best to do just that. Sometimes, I feel quizzical. We live so close to each other, why can't we just be together whenever possible? But of course, he has his own social circle as well. Unlike me, a pathetic loner with no friends around here. All my ex-college mates have either left KL or moved to other parts of KL upon graduation. I like this place, where I'm living, that was why I stayed. And most importantly, I can stay close to Shyan. I really wish to spend more time with him before he goes to UK next year to finish his degree.
More often than not, things just won't happen as we want it to. Guess I'll just have to live with that. Shyan's a busy man. Hope I can be of help to him instead of a burden (which I am now) in the days to come. God bless us.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
When We Were Little...
I went shopping with my boy and his 2 friends today at Berjaya Times Square. They wanted to do their Chinese New Year shopping. Well, I didn't shop because I've already shopped a minimum of 2 times this month, guess I gotta save it for next month then. It was a sweltering hot day and we shopped from around 1330 hour to approximately 1700 hour. I can't really remember the time.
At the end of the day, we were really exhausted so we sat down on a bench in the mall. Three little girls were turning the different coloured square mosaics on the floor into their own little game. They looked like they were really having fun. Even when an adult walked right into one of the girls and she nearly fell down, she continued playing the game of walking on the mosaic without any distractions.
I really admired her focus. When we were little, we could turn everything into a game and have fun like no one else's business. We didn't care what others think of us. We were totally self-centered and basically, just do our own things. We were happy. We wanted so much to become an adult, fast. But once we step into the real world of adulthood, we begin to realize that it wasn't all that we dreamt it to be. The cold, hard, cruel world suddenly bares itself naked right in front of our naive and ignorant eyes. We were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied.
We go into self-denial. Suddenly, we just want to turn back time and go back to our happy little world of when we were five years old. If only we can learn to be self-contented. To be happy with what we have and make the most out of it. Perhaps we will be better off both emotionally and physically.
Perhaps me, too, should stop envying those kids and start appreciating what I have around me. Like, Shyan, for instance, and stop upsetting him with my tantrums.
At the end of the day, we were really exhausted so we sat down on a bench in the mall. Three little girls were turning the different coloured square mosaics on the floor into their own little game. They looked like they were really having fun. Even when an adult walked right into one of the girls and she nearly fell down, she continued playing the game of walking on the mosaic without any distractions.
I really admired her focus. When we were little, we could turn everything into a game and have fun like no one else's business. We didn't care what others think of us. We were totally self-centered and basically, just do our own things. We were happy. We wanted so much to become an adult, fast. But once we step into the real world of adulthood, we begin to realize that it wasn't all that we dreamt it to be. The cold, hard, cruel world suddenly bares itself naked right in front of our naive and ignorant eyes. We were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied.
We go into self-denial. Suddenly, we just want to turn back time and go back to our happy little world of when we were five years old. If only we can learn to be self-contented. To be happy with what we have and make the most out of it. Perhaps we will be better off both emotionally and physically.
Perhaps me, too, should stop envying those kids and start appreciating what I have around me. Like, Shyan, for instance, and stop upsetting him with my tantrums.
Friday, December 24, 2004
People Change...or maybe I didn't Notice
I have just finished reading an ex-sec school mate's blog and somes thoughts immediately came to me. Well, 2nite is Xmas and she's stuck in her college dorm room with all the other Malaysian students because all the Americans had gone home (she's studying in the US). She had been boozing a little, too. That really surprises me. She used to look so angelic and nice, you know, the kinda girl whom you'd think can't have any faults or mistakes. But then again, maybe I shouldn't feel so surprised - I mean, she is human, after all. She has the right and freedom to express herself and her frustrations, for that matter.
I wasn't close to her in high school, although we were in the same sorority - PBSM (Red Crescent Society). She was the Sergeant Major and I was a Sergeant. I never did much, though. But she did quite a lot - she was an A-student with cute looks to match. She wasn't conceited or anything, instead, she was soft-spoken and really nice. Although she was quite studious, she had her fair share of admirers. Looking back, maybe I was a wee bit jealous of her. Gosh, I hate to use that word - JEALOUS. As much as I hated it, it was true, I guess. Some kinda sub-conscious thing so I didn't realize it then. Shame on me!
I don't know why I am talking about her. She had been on my mind for the past week after I spotted her in Friendster and then paid her blog an unexpected visit. The kinda life she leads studying in the US sounds like a whole new planet of experience to me, how I wish I could be like her. But of course, she had her fair share of downs there, too. When I told my boy about my envy, he said, "What good is there in envying others? Those things are not yours." True. I understand that very well.
That can be a great motivation in attaining my goal for a better life (not that my life is shit hole, it's quite good, actually, just not so...novel). But it also makes me think; even if I get to ownand appreciate the finer things in life later, the best time to enjoy things is actually during our teenage to young adult years. It's when we are young, energetic, adventurous and fun. To experience it with a bunch of good friends.
Over the years, I have come to realize that I am not a "friend" person. Friends around me can be really good but I am never too close to them. At the age of 21, I have a feeling I've not yet even experienced a real, deep, unconditional friendship. Pathetic. Sure, they help me sometimes, they listen occasionally, but some of them, those I deem to be closest to me, always fails me without any warning. As a result, I learn not to trust friends too much. Perhaps no one really cares about me, I am just one-sided in believing that they know me. No one does. My boy cares about me a lot, like no one would ever will. But even he does not understand me completely, how can you expect someone else to know you 100% ? I mean, even I can't do that!
Okay, I'm just drifting from one topic to another. Never mind. The other day, I sent a Friendster message to that ex-schoolmate and she didn't reply. Perhaps she hasn't liked me all along. I dunno. I feel so unworthy. I shouldn't dwell on that. At least people don't recoil in horror when they see me, although I know most of my ex-college mates should be quite intimidated bu me. Haha.
Well, I've got Shin Shyan. What more can I ask for? He's definitely the best thing that has happened to me! I love you, lao gong!
I wasn't close to her in high school, although we were in the same sorority - PBSM (Red Crescent Society). She was the Sergeant Major and I was a Sergeant. I never did much, though. But she did quite a lot - she was an A-student with cute looks to match. She wasn't conceited or anything, instead, she was soft-spoken and really nice. Although she was quite studious, she had her fair share of admirers. Looking back, maybe I was a wee bit jealous of her. Gosh, I hate to use that word - JEALOUS. As much as I hated it, it was true, I guess. Some kinda sub-conscious thing so I didn't realize it then. Shame on me!
I don't know why I am talking about her. She had been on my mind for the past week after I spotted her in Friendster and then paid her blog an unexpected visit. The kinda life she leads studying in the US sounds like a whole new planet of experience to me, how I wish I could be like her. But of course, she had her fair share of downs there, too. When I told my boy about my envy, he said, "What good is there in envying others? Those things are not yours." True. I understand that very well.
That can be a great motivation in attaining my goal for a better life (not that my life is shit hole, it's quite good, actually, just not so...novel). But it also makes me think; even if I get to ownand appreciate the finer things in life later, the best time to enjoy things is actually during our teenage to young adult years. It's when we are young, energetic, adventurous and fun. To experience it with a bunch of good friends.
Over the years, I have come to realize that I am not a "friend" person. Friends around me can be really good but I am never too close to them. At the age of 21, I have a feeling I've not yet even experienced a real, deep, unconditional friendship. Pathetic. Sure, they help me sometimes, they listen occasionally, but some of them, those I deem to be closest to me, always fails me without any warning. As a result, I learn not to trust friends too much. Perhaps no one really cares about me, I am just one-sided in believing that they know me. No one does. My boy cares about me a lot, like no one would ever will. But even he does not understand me completely, how can you expect someone else to know you 100% ? I mean, even I can't do that!
Okay, I'm just drifting from one topic to another. Never mind. The other day, I sent a Friendster message to that ex-schoolmate and she didn't reply. Perhaps she hasn't liked me all along. I dunno. I feel so unworthy. I shouldn't dwell on that. At least people don't recoil in horror when they see me, although I know most of my ex-college mates should be quite intimidated bu me. Haha.
Well, I've got Shin Shyan. What more can I ask for? He's definitely the best thing that has happened to me! I love you, lao gong!
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
What a true statement. Last night as I was watching i, Robot with my boy, Shyan, we became an example of this statement. There was a scene whereby Sonny, the unique robot, was making his escape from the USR HQ. He left behind a trail of blue goo after being shot in the thigh by Will Smith (i think his role was Agent Spooner, or something). As soon as I saw the goo, I said, "He's bleeding". At the same time, Shyan said, "His oil is dripping".
Well, to my man, Sonny was just a robot, no matter how human he was built out to be. He dreams, he winks, he thinks that he has a father and he knows he's made for a purpose. Sounds like a Pinocchio story to me, haha. Anyways, to me, I probably saw Sonny as a human being already because although his facade is one of a machine, he talks and acts like anyone of us (only he can acrobat through high suspending poles and fights better than Jet Li!).
I guess men and women are just different in terms of their mindsets, point of view and approach in doing things. Men are more analytical and almost always do things based on their previous experiences, evidence and scientific research or knowledge. In short, they are more rational. Women, on the other hand, rely more on their instincts (and their intuition is mostly right). Women like to humanize things, they tend to put a lot of emotion into something, which might get in the way of their logic.
God has been fair. A person can't live wthout the masculine side nor the feminine side. That's why we've been blessed with both male and female hormones (I've forgotten what they're called scientifically, male is testostrone and female oestrogen?? whatever).
Okay, whatever the case, iI gotta get back to work now. I am actually in the office right now and it's 0908 hour. Cheers to a new day! Merry Xmas, everyone!
Well, to my man, Sonny was just a robot, no matter how human he was built out to be. He dreams, he winks, he thinks that he has a father and he knows he's made for a purpose. Sounds like a Pinocchio story to me, haha. Anyways, to me, I probably saw Sonny as a human being already because although his facade is one of a machine, he talks and acts like anyone of us (only he can acrobat through high suspending poles and fights better than Jet Li!).
I guess men and women are just different in terms of their mindsets, point of view and approach in doing things. Men are more analytical and almost always do things based on their previous experiences, evidence and scientific research or knowledge. In short, they are more rational. Women, on the other hand, rely more on their instincts (and their intuition is mostly right). Women like to humanize things, they tend to put a lot of emotion into something, which might get in the way of their logic.
God has been fair. A person can't live wthout the masculine side nor the feminine side. That's why we've been blessed with both male and female hormones (I've forgotten what they're called scientifically, male is testostrone and female oestrogen?? whatever).
Okay, whatever the case, iI gotta get back to work now. I am actually in the office right now and it's 0908 hour. Cheers to a new day! Merry Xmas, everyone!
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