喜欢五月天才四年时间，从那时起知道很多人也很喜欢他们，受欢迎的程度有时甚至连我都觉得不可思议。

 

看了看板人物对五月天的剪接，终于搞明白了，那种对他们几近信仰式的迷恋，是因为他们对于诺言的重视、团员们互相的扶持、还有为了实现梦想的倔强。

 

他们一起经历了家人病重、团员求婚 / 结婚、生子。他们更毫不吝啬的把这些最重要的生活片断，分享给喜爱五月天的人们。

 

对五迷来说，甚至不是五迷的人来说（新闻也常听到他们的消息），他们活生生就像是自己身边的朋友，而不是我们隔着电视机、站在舞台上、摸也摸不到、满口虚言、全身伪装、关我屁事、离我们很遥远的艺人。

 

五月天最坚持守护的梦想是音乐，而五迷的梦想跟动力却是五月天。

 

这样追随着他们，因为相信在这逐渐腐败的虚伪世界，真诚没有死，率真也还活着，梦想依然伟大。

 

他们总是信守与歌迷的承诺，也一再向我们证明，只要你敢梦，就一定能实现。

 

只要别太贪心，像他们一样，一步一步，慢慢来。

 

于是五月天站上了鸟巢。

出现在Google总部。

在Youtube办了一场演唱会。

飞到英国和欧洲，把五月天的中文词，唱到一脸惊愕的老外耳里。

 

突然写那么多，吓了自己一跳，哈哈！只是瞬间有感而发。

请忽略我的烂文法和奇怪的标点运用，毕竟我不是阿信 :P

鬼扯

最近刚看完了九把刀的“拼命去死”。

在每个章节的间隔页都会有一些名人语录，其中一句是尼采的；
“上帝是虚构的。”

其实我连尼采是谁都不知道，只是经常听到他的名字而已，好像是什么有名的作家伟人吧？

要是他是外国人的话，也许他的英文名我倒是听过吧。

就好像我是近几年才知道原来柏拉图就是Plato，而且还是按照中文的读音自己大概猜到的，希望我的猜测没错，要不就真的丢脸丢到家了。

总之我要说的是，尼采的那句话似曾相识，因为我也觉得上帝不是真的存在的。

真是英雄所见略同啊！

当然我不是要往自己脸上贴金，今时今日，应该不止我有这种想法了，现在的人都比较会对事情提出质疑，不会盲目的跟从。

所以我觉得，我们这个世代的人，个个都是大思想家和哲学家。

只是生不逢时，要不然就名流千古了，哈哈！

但又好险没有生在以前那个时代，因为太多精英也会世界大乱的！

说着说着，好像又不是这样的。

这个世代的人，会有那么多千奇百怪的想法，能有那么多千奇百怪的想法，应该也是受到了各种因素的影响。

电影、书籍、网络、与别人的沟通等。

以前的人对外界的接触有限，而且就算有比较独特的想法，也不见得能说出来，因为很有可能会被当成疯子。

所以差别可能是，那些伟人的想法在当时是前所未见的，背负着外界的种种压力，他们却有勇气把这些想法大声地说出来，而有时我会怀疑，现在的人就算有一些奇特的想法，也不能确定是
真的来自于自己本身，还是不自觉或潜意识的采纳了某些之前在哪里看到过的理论，因为往往
这些理论之前早就有人发表过了，但无可否认的是，很多道理都是在人生的某个阶段才会被真正领略到的。

无论如何，生在这个世代绝对是幸福的，因为没有像以前那么多的拘束，人们可以活的更自由，追求自己想要的东西，对各种事情的接受度也很高。

说真的，开始有点同情以前的人，不能照自己的意愿做各种事情。

虽然我不是很极端的人，但若生在那个世代，应该会憋到自杀吧。

因为不会温驯到什么事情都照着人家的期望做，但也因为不够极端，所以不会大胆到不顾别人对自己的看法，想做什么就做什么，被吊在半中间，应该会蛮幸苦的。

嗯，我想我还是生对时代了。

可悲的存在

坐在 jumpseat 等起飞时，和同事闲聊了一下。


她是南非人，给人的感觉很温暖、和善，不像一般我遇到的老外同事，总是会在我们与他们之间筑起一道墙。


跟很多西方国家的人一样，她出生于一个基督教家庭，而且看样子还蛮虔诚的。


她问起我的信仰，但我怎么可能有什么信仰可言呢，我相信所有宗教都是好的，但并不信奉任何一个特定的宗教，要说是无神论也是，多神论也可以吧。


还问我有没有想过生存的意义。


我说我经常都在想啊，但没人能知道真正的答案吧。


她说人类被上帝创造出来，唯一的目的就是来歌颂与赞美上帝，作为祂消遣的玩具。


我当然是不认同这种说法了！


我不晓得她是哪个门派的基督徒，但这样的教义未免太偏激了点。


第一，我不相信上帝（如果祂真的存在的话）是个自恋狂。


再来，我不相信上帝大费周章搞出那么多麻烦事来累死自己，只是为了满足自己的私心。


毕竟，若祂真是那么神圣不可侵犯的神，就不该拥有这么世俗的欲望吧。

倘若祂真的是那么自大的自恋狂，那么我也不削成为祂的信徒。


而且，如果我们的存在只是为了拍别人的马屁，那也太可悲了吧！


根本就没啥意义可言！


虽然这样说有点自打嘴巴，因为我之前有说过我们可能是外星人的玩具，但外星人和神的形象差很远呐。


外星人不神圣啊，所以要怎样都没关系。

总之，这种生存的意义之类的问题是不可能有答案的啦，就算有也是人类自己想像出来满足好奇心的工具而已。

Random things going through my mind...

Yippee~!!

They finally fixed my room ceiling lights yesterday! I no longer have to live in the dark anymore, relying solely on my bedside lamp. Problem is, they left a mess behind - wire butts and dust everywhere. But I'm still happy, cos 3 months of light-deprived months had made me a more lenient person ^_^

My ulcer under my upper lip is killing me though. Everytime my tongue touches it, I feel like my heart wrenches so much I'm going into cardiac arrest. Guess my threshold for pain isn't very high huh. Seriously my body is so heaty right now I have breakouts in my face as well! This is when I have to get my mom's herbals out.

I'm getting sick of how he keeps haunting me like a ghost from the past! Well, he is a ghost from the past if you think about it. Even if I exhaust all my brain juices trying to get an answer, I would never get it just by thinking about it myself. I have already talked to two of my girl friends, the opinions are one negative and one positive so far. I think I need a guy's view next. It's not gonna amount to anything even if I get the answer from he himself, but at least then I will stop thinking about it. It's pointless, I know but I just can't help myself.

A Song to Sing

Goodbye four leaf clovers
Hello gone awry
Don't cry the fight ain't over
Unless you let it pass you by

I'm looking for a song to sing
Looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been this longing for your lovin'
I've never been just wearin' down to nothin'
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'll be thinkin of me oooh...
You'll been thinking of me

All that I have found in reason
Is reason just to not believe
And all that you are left is treason
Is treason just to let it be

I'm looking for a song to sing
Looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been this longing for your lovin'
I've never been just wearin' down to nothin'
I've never been just lookin' for a reason
So that maybe you'll be thinkin' of

These blue yonder dreams and second hand shoes
You're so far gone that you're left to lose and
It's too late to go home all alone
You're the tar in that old cigar
And the worn out cable on a cable car
And you're too tired to admit you've got to choose

I'm looking for a song to sing
Looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been this longing for your lovin'
I've never been just wearin' down to nothin'
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'll be thinkin of me ooh...
You'll been thinking of me


It's a song by Hanson from their album This Time Around.
Brings me heartache every single time I listen to it.

I dunno how they did it, the three of them must have been between the ages 15-20 when they wrote it. But it sounds like some old guy lookin' back on his wretched life and wonderin' what could it have been.

Every word is heart-wrenching.

A large part of the album is pretty upbeat. Their usual sugary pop-rock at the time, which is why this song was even more of a contrast compared to the rest of it.

Trust me.

Taylor's voice isn't flawless. In fact, I think it's heavily flawed. But it's what makes his expression of sad songs even more believable. The way his voice was breaking when singing this song actually broke my heart as well.

I don't even know why I'm writing this.

Lately, well, I've always have it. A wave of nostalgia swept over me and I kept wanting to have a copy of that album in my laptop. I used to have a cassette tape version of it when I was in high school. But I can't put that into my laptop, can I?

So thanks to technology and the generous people who uploaded it online, I was finally able to download it.

It was like the sounds of my youth.

Haha I sound like an old wretch myself, don't I? Okay I know I am not that old but I am not young anymore either.

The longer you live, the more memories you're gonna have.
I finally understand that.

So anyway, nostalgia, to me, is always a sad thing.

People often say "both happy and sad memories".

Truth is, sad and dark feelings often etch themselves onto your heart much deeper than happy ones.

I'm not a pessimistic person. It's just the way things are.

And I'm not even talking about specific memories when I'm listening to this song. It's just a song that makes me sad.

But I like it.
It's one of my favourites in the album.

Now if you'll please excuse me and my melancholy thoughts.

Sienzzz...

Already aug 10 and that bugger from Sarawak still hasn't made any move to view my room. Sent him a reminder 2 days ago and he said he would call me when he's coming. This morning I couldn't help but sms-ed him this:

When are you viewing da room? Pls understand dat i hv waited long enough n i cant keep holding da room 4 u. Tq

Is it too harsh? But at this point, I don't really care anymore. If he's not renting it, then I'd probably have to pay the rent anyway. If the room still doesn't go by September, my deposits would be gone as well. So be it. I'm so tired of all these, man. Never had so much trouble renting out a room before. They used to go like hot cakes. But no matter how many notices I put up now, all of it disappears the next day and I wait and wait but still nobody calls. Up till now, only one girl has viewed my room and although it seemed promising, she didn't reply afterwards. Hrrrmmmppphhhh~~~

Excited and frustrated

Can't wait Can't wait I just can't wait!!!

Can't wait for my brand new life to start!

I'm in the countdown phase right now. Hope everything will go well...the medical in Dubai, my training, exams, some personal stuff and finally the probation. Looking forward to the day when I can proudly tell myself in my Emirates uniform that I am officially one of them.

Also anticipating the Taiwan trip with my 2 sistas. Was just discussing with them over MSN and phone about who'll bring what to lighten the load.

Sold my quaint little study table last night. 5 minutes after I finished putting up the notices and was walking outta the lift, a guy called and I asked him to come view it later.

My notice looks like this:

The guy came with his girlfriend, I assume. They were pretty friendly and the guy is from Batu Pahat, so technically, he's from the same home-state as me. He tried to bargain, I was selling it for RM20 and he asked for RM15. But it was so new so the lowest I could go was RM18. To my delight, he agreed and took away the table immediately. OOOOH...only then I felt the sadness creeping up at me. That I was giving away a table that's been with me for 5 whole years!

But gosh, how I wish that couple are the one who's gonna rent my room! Cos they are so friendly and nice! Surely they won't have any problems fitting in with my current housemates...unlike me hahaha. Not that lucky though, I haven't even met the guy who's gonna rent my room!

He's currently in Sarawak taking care of some legal docs for the sale of his shop (or so he claims). He also has another shop in KL. For gracious' sake he's only 21! Yeah I know there are lotsa young entrepreneurs out there but well, over the phone, I still feel dubious about it. The world is a scary place nowadays ya know. Moreover, another one of my housemates is a girl. She will be living under one roof with this guy in the future so it's better to be careful.

He told me he would come down to KL around 28th or 29th of July but later told me he couldn't make it so have to wait till 8th or 9th of August. That BUGGER!!! However, he was OK with all the payments and was willing to pay me ASAP. But I dare not accept it! Cos we haven't seen him yet, how to rent to him like that ar!?! He was gonna ask his GF to send the money over but after much thoughts, I asked him to pay on the day when he comes to view the room.

Hope everything goes well...

Manhattan Fish Market, Midvalley makes me barf!

Went to the ever-crowded-on-weekends Midvalley Megamall with Shyan yesterday. Made our way through the ocean of weekend shoppers and finally stopped in front of Manhattan Fish Market.

There was a sign stating,"Please wait to be seated" at the entrance. So as obedient as we always were, we just stood there and studied the menu while waiting for their staff to guide us in. 3 minutes passed without anyone taking notice of us and we were thinking,"Hey, am I invisible to you?!". Most absurd thing was, a few of the staff had actually made eye contact with us but simply chose to ignore us! Man, do we look like paupers who can't afford to dine in your majestic fishy market?!?

Outta no other choice, we sauntered into the restaurant and seated ourselves. Cool, I'd never known MFM practices self-service. Woulda gone to the Long John Silvers next door if I had decided to serve myself (-_-). So we were expecting the staff to serve us after the initial disgust. But all we observed was the staff still walking to and fro' all over the place, carrying only a few serviettes, forks and spoons, a glass of water, etc without ever really accomplishing anything! A Malay couple in a corner were already showing disgusted and impatient expressions because no one served them too for God knew how long. It's interesting to note that 80% of the staff there were Malays too. I've always been fascinated and amazed by their efficiency - or the lack of it to be exact.

Finally, we managed to call over a waitress and gestured to her that we wanted to order. She came over and asked us about our orders. I was lamenting silently,"Gosh you should really go to an ophthalmologist to get yer eyes checked cos they look pretty blind to me! Can't you see we don't even have any menus here?!" With tension building inside me and Shyan, we politely requested for menus.

She came back with only ONE menu. Smart girl. I guess she was expecting me and Shyan to have a romantic moment by huddling closely together to read the menu. How sweet. Unable to stand her stupidity but still keeping my cool, I said,"Can you give me one more menu please?"

After that was settled, a waiter came to take our orders. We asked him something and it took him forever to understand us. We asked in English twice then BM 3-4 times but he looked like a blur sotong to us because he couldn't give us a definite answer. By now I was really getting high blood pressure. Would wanna throw him into a pan and fry him if possible, but no one must eat him in case they become as peabrained as him!

After much difficulties, we finally finished ordering. A bowl of soup and some garlic bread later, our maincourse still wasn't here. Looking around, even people who came in later than us were already happily enjoying their food. The staff even served other patrons quite speedily in terms of handing them the menus and taking down the orders. So why were we the ones getting hell?!

Thus, we asked the waiter who took our orders to check for us when would it be ready cos obviously ours was really late. When our seafood platter finally came, we decided with resignation that they probably gave our order to someone else by mistake. See, we've seen at least 4 or 5 platters with the exact same content go to other tables. If they didn't serve it to someone else by mistake, tell me why were we served 5 minutes later than people who came in 10 minutes later than us?

We were definitely extraordinarily full after the meal, mostly thanks to the anger and frustration we felt, not because of the food we ate. Even getting the bill from them took forever. The bill came up to a total of RM82.xx - I can't remember the last 2 digits.

We would be more than willing to pay that price if the service was good because honestly, the food was just so-so. And what's more, with average food and CRAPPY service, we really thought it was a rather expensive meal.

In fact, it's one of THE most horrible meals I've had in years! Basically, it was nightmarish because all I felt was the angry "qi" building inside me throughout the meal! Man, I felt so damn bloated from it!

So people, if you are reading this, NEVER EVER go to the Manhattan Fish Market in Midvalley unless you wanna pay them to get pissed! I dunno about other MFM branches in Malaysia, they might be a hell lot better but the one in Midvalley is really a hellhole in itself!

A round up

It was a whirlwind of hospital and clinic visits, a case of flu and subsequently menses but praise the Lord I survived through it all and let's hope that the future will be promising!

I submitted my medicals to Emirates last Friday and they replied on Saturday saying they'd received it. Weird...I thought over there, they don't work on Fridays and Saturdays? And on Monday, they replied again telling me my medical has been approved! Yay~~~!!! Their efficiency is truly commendable!

Prob here is, they only said that it has been approved but there's no further instruction regarding the employment. So does it mean I can resign already (I already have haha)? Or I just wait for their email? Due to these doubts, I sent them an email voicing my concerns 4 days ago but I have yet to hear from them. Oh well, maybe they still have other things to settle before giving me the greenlight. Wish me luck!

Before you start thinking I'm an assuming swell-headed stuck-up bitch for resigning even before they ask me to, because I am probably too confident about the whole thing, allow me a chance to explain. I was gonna resign anyway, regardless of the outcome. If I don't leave this company anytime soon, I don't think I can do it later. So might as well take the risk.

In between this, I had to make the huge decision of declining Paprika's offer to work as a copywriter. It's an experience in a 4A's advertising agency which I really look forward to. But at the time, I was due to go for Emirates' medical checkups and I assumed it would take up at least 2 weeks' time for everything to come through. And I was down with flu so I couldn't proceed with it so imagine my stress then!

Paprika had been really kind in offering to pay my 2 months notice compensation for me, on condition that I'm bound to the company for a year. It was a pretty fair deal, which was why I felt extremely guilty for stalling their time for so long. Realizing I couldn't drag it any longer and their sincerity really doesn't allow mw to do that either, I decided to come clean with them.

Andrew fom Paprika was quite surprised when he heard it. However, he said that he really appreciated my honesty. Geez, glad would be putting it mildly...I was RELIEVED!!!

After a coupla days, I proceeded to handing in my resignation letter to my boss and told them the truth as well. Another reaction of surprise. But they were cool about it and granted me the leaves I needed to do my medical tests.

Glad that I made the right decision! At least I didn't need to worry so much since then! It was killing me holding everything inside!

So right now, I'm looking forward to the trip to Taiwan with my 2 elder sistas. Simply lurrrrrrrrrrrrve Taiwan! Just hope I'd have enough time to pack my stuff, rent out my room, move out and spend time with my family and friends after I return from Taiwan to prepare for Dubai!

Thank God and please guide me all the way!

!!!

HELP!!!

I'm going BERSERK!

What's in a name

Was talking to my secondary classmate, Hui Yee, and we talked about my nicknames during that time. Whoa, I get called all sorts of names! But not in a cruel way, it was all because of my real name, actually. People who know me should know my full name. Now link it with these nicks;

OUCH - I hate this. Everytime someone is hurt, I'd think they were calling me.
TAUGE - Means BEAN SPROUT in Malay
GIGI - N. It's not the common English name, it means TEETH in Malay.
OGI

Then after I got my English name;

O DA LI
TALI
TALIBAN
TEDDY BEAR

Seems like no matter what I'm called, nicknames always keep close to me, huh?

I was even called "fei mao tui" (mandarin), which is the name of a flying missile when I was in primary school. They claimed it was because I ran really fast back then.

I'm really bored so that's it for now then.

People Change...or maybe I didn't Notice

I have just finished reading an ex-sec school mate's blog and somes thoughts immediately came to me. Well, 2nite is Xmas and she's stuck in her college dorm room with all the other Malaysian students because all the Americans had gone home (she's studying in the US). She had been boozing a little, too. That really surprises me. She used to look so angelic and nice, you know, the kinda girl whom you'd think can't have any faults or mistakes. But then again, maybe I shouldn't feel so surprised - I mean, she is human, after all. She has the right and freedom to express herself and her frustrations, for that matter.

I wasn't close to her in high school, although we were in the same sorority - PBSM (Red Crescent Society). She was the Sergeant Major and I was a Sergeant. I never did much, though. But she did quite a lot - she was an A-student with cute looks to match. She wasn't conceited or anything, instead, she was soft-spoken and really nice. Although she was quite studious, she had her fair share of admirers. Looking back, maybe I was a wee bit jealous of her. Gosh, I hate to use that word - JEALOUS. As much as I hated it, it was true, I guess. Some kinda sub-conscious thing so I didn't realize it then. Shame on me!

I don't know why I am talking about her. She had been on my mind for the past week after I spotted her in Friendster and then paid her blog an unexpected visit. The kinda life she leads studying in the US sounds like a whole new planet of experience to me, how I wish I could be like her. But of course, she had her fair share of downs there, too. When I told my boy about my envy, he said, "What good is there in envying others? Those things are not yours." True. I understand that very well.

That can be a great motivation in attaining my goal for a better life (not that my life is shit hole, it's quite good, actually, just not so...novel). But it also makes me think; even if I get to ownand appreciate the finer things in life later, the best time to enjoy things is actually during our teenage to young adult years. It's when we are young, energetic, adventurous and fun. To experience it with a bunch of good friends.

Over the years, I have come to realize that I am not a "friend" person. Friends around me can be really good but I am never too close to them. At the age of 21, I have a feeling I've not yet even experienced a real, deep, unconditional friendship. Pathetic. Sure, they help me sometimes, they listen occasionally, but some of them, those I deem to be closest to me, always fails me without any warning. As a result, I learn not to trust friends too much. Perhaps no one really cares about me, I am just one-sided in believing that they know me. No one does. My boy cares about me a lot, like no one would ever will. But even he does not understand me completely, how can you expect someone else to know you 100% ? I mean, even I can't do that!

Okay, I'm just drifting from one topic to another. Never mind. The other day, I sent a Friendster message to that ex-schoolmate and she didn't reply. Perhaps she hasn't liked me all along. I dunno. I feel so unworthy. I shouldn't dwell on that. At least people don't recoil in horror when they see me, although I know most of my ex-college mates should be quite intimidated bu me. Haha.

Well, I've got Shin Shyan. What more can I ask for? He's definitely the best thing that has happened to me! I love you, lao gong!

My First Time...

I have never blogged before. This is my first time, so if I sound dealy corny or awkward, just bear with me, ok? God help me.

I've never blogged before, nor did I ever read blog for a pastime. However, for the past few days, I have been greedily gobbling up the last 6 months of one of my ex-sec school mates in her blog. I guess I was kinda too free at work cos it's the end of the year and few new projects are coming in.

I actually feel that you can be quite exposed in blogs, since you reveal some of your innermost feelings to whoever might read it (and that means anyone on this planet!). But of course, bloggers always have to filter out some of their opinions to avoid offending people around them (especially those who read their blog). This should prove to be a lil challenging for me cos I actually keep a computer diary. I don't write in it every day, only when I am feeling crappy and I have no one to turn to.

Well, I guess this will be my first entry to my blog life. Cheers!