What boredom can do to you

I think I'm gonna die of boredom one of these days.

And I think my laptop hard disk doesn't have long to live too, considering the rate I'm downloading things from the Internet.

I've been sitting in front of my laptop from dawn till dusk till my eyes bulge from radioactive waves just to watch dramas and read comics that I downloaded.

HELP ME!!!

This isn't the life I signed up for when I scribbled my signature on the flying contract!

I always feel that among all my friends, doesn't matter where I know them from - in high school, college, KL colleagues, or the friends I'm having in Dubai now; I am always the one being/feeling left out. I'm just a sore thumb that sticks out and doesn't seem to fit in anywhere.

When I try to tell my friends about it, they just don't wanna believe it. They think I'm this really outgoing and sociable person who's happy most of the time. I only try to be that way so that I don't stick out too much, to make it less obvious.

See, I'm always the one who doesn't know what's going on in my friends' lives. Maybe that's due to my own laziness as well. But sometimes when I do try, no one seems to have any time for me. My timing is always bad, I guess.

Since my last flight, I've tried to call my friends here who are having days off as well. But no one answered. So I just gave up and accepted the fact that I should lock myself up in my comfy bedroom and watch everything on my laptop till my eyes burn and dry out. And that's exactly what I am currently doing.

I've thought of going out on my own. But I woke up too late today and didn't feel like doing so anymore. And there's the money issue.

I realize that after 6 months of being here, and that includes 4 months of flying, I still haven't saved much. God, I still gotta save for the holiday my parents (mainly my Mom) wanna make later this year. And UAE Dirham is unfortunately on the fall these days. It's much more lower than Ringgit compared to when I first came here. No wonder I don't see any money whenever I convert it into RM.

Well, I shouldn't complain, at least it's still much better than what I can get back home. Counting my blessings here. Please give me the strength to stop complaining and start living.

Sometimes I'm so bored that I imagine how beautiful life would be if I suddenly get to know a fatally gorgeous Chinese guy here in Dubai with a heavenly personality and become really close friends. Of course there's the risk of falling in love with him and breaking my Shin Shyan's heart but I will try to control myself.

I've always wanted a, well, I dunno how to say it in English but in Mandarin it's 暧昧, relationship with a guy. It's like a vague relationship between friendship and love, if you know what I mean. I love that feeling so much cos one minute it feels like a knife is slicing through your heart and the next you just feel like the happiest girl in the universe just because that person pats you on the head or flashes you a million-dollar smile.

Shyan ended that vague relationship with me and stepped into the real thing too soon. That's the only regret I have with him. His reasoning was, if he liked me, then he shouldn't waste any time in letting me know that and start a steady relationship ASAP. Nah, no games, babe.

Otherwise, he's a dream. He tells me he loves me every single day. Not once a day but many times a day too. Our standard greeting during a phonecall is "Love you, laogong/laopo". Oh, and also "muack muack". He would just look at me while I'm still asleep and observe every little gesture I habitually make. Like, curling/uncurling my toes when I feel warm and comfy and a million other things that even I myself don't remember.

Geez, I think I talked too much. Those are supposed to be private right?

Anyhow, I know I'm being a greedy bitch but I still want my 暧昧 friend. Guess too much manga reading is contaminating my brain. But that will make life so damn more interesting ya know.

肚子会长虫哦。。。

发现最近我好像都在吃过期食物耶！

没办法啊，一去到超商看到食物，我的手就会不受控制的一直拿，拼命拿，死命拿，好像不用钱一样的疯狂抢购。唉，住在这种沙漠地带，有时真的会有错觉如果不买多一点的话，搞不好会饿死，其实也是懒惰出门所以一次过买多多啦。

最近已经有在控制了，可是有时还是会出纰漏的嘛。

前几天才刚消化掉过期三个月的水豆腐，而且煮好了之后还分了四五天吃哦，最后剩下一点点，忘了放冰箱，飞了三天后回来，已经长霉了，哈哈。不能怪我啦，迪拜的水豆腐不能吃的耶，根本都不水，干干的，还有一种酸味，我那过期的豆腐吃起来还比它新鲜！真的啦！

现在正在吃一包曲奇饼，牌子是 PEPPERIDGE FARM MILANO ORANGE，超~~~OISHII 的我跟你说！！！只是他三星期前就到期了啦，可是 COOKIES 这种东西啊，应该不要紧吧，还是蛮好吃的啊，只是有点漏风了而已，而且很贵哦！我怎么舍得丢掉呢！吃起来还是有种幸福的感觉哦！HONTO NI SHIAWASE NE！！！

房子

有时候，看着周围我凌乱不堪的房间，有一种奇妙的感觉。

整间房子超大的，住起来很舒服，但我几乎都不踏进客厅，因为那儿没电视。饭厅也很少用，都是躲进自己的房间里边用 LAPTOP 看 DVD 边吃东西。

感觉奇妙因为这房子即不是我的，也不是租的，但我就是能住在这里，纵使我把它布置得漂漂亮亮的，摆成我喜欢的样子，它终究不是我的。

想着想着，就觉得好寂寞。

不知道什么时候才能真正拥有一个属于自己的家呢？
这样讲好像突然之间老了几十岁吧 *笑*

最近比较有机会飞欧洲路线，常常会从窗外望进街上经过的屋子，尤其是天色稍微转暗的时候，一个个亮着金黄色灯光的窗口，跟外面的冷空气比起来真的好温暖哦！

觉得他们的房子面积并不大，但却布置的很有品味和风格，虽然并没有踏进过他们的家，可是从窗外也能看到各式各样的摆设和挂在墙上的画，很有艺术感。欧洲人高贵又有气质的 TASTE，应该遗传自他们的文化历史吧，看他们的建筑就知道了。

我最喜欢他们会在屋子里的任何角落摆着五彩缤纷的花花花草草，尤其是阳台或是窗边。这个时候差不多进入春天了，市集里都在卖那些五颜六色的花朵，光是看了就觉得很开心！看的我都好想把一盆盆的花抱回家，但听说它们只能耐三个月，然后要换土什么的，等到明年才又开花。唉，如果是我的话，还是算了吧！免得把花给弄死了。

好像有点越扯越远了，但就是好奇，将来我真正的家会是怎样的呢？

不需要很大，只要有温暖的感觉，有家的样子就够了。

某年某月的某一天。。。

Cheryl ： 你不能再用 Baby Oil 来卸妆了啦！

偶 ： 为什么？！？很便宜噢！

Cheryl ： 因为“女人我最大”说了对皮肤不好丫。

偶 ： 是吗。。。为什么？

Cheryl ： 嗯。。。可能太油了吧。

偶 ： 可是如果婴儿擦了没事，大人用了应该也 OK 吧。

Cheryl ： 总之就别用了啦！！！

偶 ： 那用什么？

Cheryl ： 卸妆水丫！

偶 ： 噢，那最好最贵的卸妆“水”是不是 SHISEIDO 的？

Cheryl ： 那当然！

偶 ： 那个 SHISEIDO 卸妆的其实是油吧？

Cheryl ： 。。。。。

偶 ： SHISEIDO 的油又能用，BABY OIL 就不行哦？

Cheryl ： 。。。。。哎呀，不同的啦！！！

偶 ： ？？？