No fair

I'd wake up and stare up at the ceiling in a daze, or turn on my side and stare into space, wondering what exactly am I doing here.

That's what's been happening a lot lately.

I guess they gave me too much days off that cause my mind to wander.

After getting my laptop and plugged in to the Net, I've become kinda an anti-social creature. I would lie down on the bed in my darkened room and watch Taiwanese drama series I downloaded online. Or I'd sleep off an entire 24 hours and live a totally decadent life.

I begin to wonder what I'll be like after the contract ends in 3 years. Will I be tired and fed up of this job like many others and quit or will I stay on, feeling equally fucked up or loving every second of it?

Up till now, my schedule pretty much sucks. How was it that when my friends go on standby, they get pulled out every single time but I only get to sit at home and rot? And most of them get European destinations I yearn for so much while I only get destinations down under like Australia and places I'm familiar with, like Malaysia and Singapore?

I probably shouldn't complain so much. My roster isn't terrible or anything. I just wish I can get more of what I want. But life probably isn't about getting the cake every time eh?

I am certain about one thing however, if I don't start getting more flying hours, I'd earn considerably less than my peers. Now that is what's really bothering me.

Ever since I got here, the company always seems to miss me out for many things. Why is it that my friends don't need to fight for what they want but I have to?

It's sickening.

Fingers crossed for my next roster.