There's something totally vulnerable with hanging your emotions on another person's words. And he had to say no.

I had a hard time accepting that. After meeting him, I came to know that he's everything I ever wanted. 

But there's always a catch, isn't it?
He's all I ever want and need. There's only one thing. 
He can't love me.

I resented him at the time. But I can see it clearly now.
He tried to like me more than what he felt but he just couldn't go past that point.
Even though he isn't the most affectionate person I know, which drives me crazy, but he tried. He really did. I can tell from his actions.

My heart knows all along that I'm gonna get hurt real bad, right from the very beginning. Don't ask me how, it just knows. But we never really listen to our hearts all the time, do we? Especially when your heart is full of feelings for this person right in front of you. So close. So within reach.

"Why does this have to happen to me? Why am I not the one?"

I understand that nothing I say or do is ever gonna get more from his heart. You can't force love out of another after all. I get that. I really do.

The thing that really devastates me is that apart from our family and close friends, no one knows our story. I know it's a good thing since it was extremely shortlived. 

But I can't help feeling like I don't matter. That our relationship feels like a stillborn who never had a chance to see the light of day. Who doesn't have a name and will be soon forgotten along the passage of time. I'm the ex who didn't even make it into his Facebook friends list, let alone his heart.

And now I'm watching chick flicks to mourn for a love that I could have had but never did.

I will get through this. 
I will. I will.
I tell myself. 
Over and over.

I'm mad
So mad

As mad as I like you
Out the window I look
Anger trickles down like bitter dew

You're confused
As you steer the wheels, keeping your eyes on the road

Do you know why I'm so mad?

It's because you made me a promise
It's because I thought you'd keep it
It's because you broke it
It's because I care
It's because I thought you care
It's because I discovered you don't

But most of all,
It's because I like you
A lot
And you don't seem to like me too.

女孩的牙齿

妈妈每天晚上都会和女孩上演追逐战。

叫了再叫，骂了再骂，吵了再吵。

女孩就是不肯乖乖的刷了牙才睡。

妈妈说，现在不好好照顾牙齿，以后满嘴烂牙才知道后悔就太迟了。

女孩觉得她只要早上刷，晚上不刷，又有何妨？

若干年后，女孩在房间里，抱着大象娃娃，牙疼的快要疯了！

牙疼的半边脸都在痛。

去年才刚抽掉了一颗牙的牙根，才没一年，另一颗牙又要走上同一条路了吗？

才几岁就满口烂牙了？

女孩想起小时候追着自己刷牙的妈妈，后悔着。

女孩的零食

很久很久以前，有个固执、任性、别扭、顽皮且爱逞强的小女孩（同时也极度怀疑她的父母不是亲生的，一直觉得她本来一定是某个国度的公主），和父母还有哥哥姐姐一起住在一间木屋里。

小女孩每天都会从屋后围栏的一个洞溜出去玩。而且每天都会在朋友家待到晚上七、八点才回家。女孩大概只有四、五岁。

晚上这个时候回家，不是因为玩累了想回家睡觉，而是因为父母派了恶魔哥哥来把她给压回去。

为什么哥哥是恶魔？

因为哥哥总是很使力的拖着她的手腕，疼死了。此外，还经常欠她的一块钱不还（累积起来就很多块了！），或是用钱骗她帮忙完成一些事情，然后过河拆桥不付钱。

小女孩最讨厌哥哥了！

被抓回家后，父亲为女孩准备了丰盛的饭前零食。

零食每天都一样。

不是藤条就是皮带。

这天，父亲又问了以往问了数十次的问题，

“为什么这么晚才回来？为什么不肯回家？”

边问边用藤条指向女孩。

小女孩流着眼泪擤着鼻涕，不知道该怎么回答。

父亲继续凶巴巴的责骂女孩。

女孩还是什么都答不出来。

眼看父亲的藤条就要杀过来了，女孩心里越来越害怕。

怎么办？又要挨打了？很痛的，我不要。

我不要！

突然，女孩笑了。

原本骂人骂得一发不可收拾的父亲非常错愕。

女孩笑的更大声了。

“为什么在笑？爸爸要打妳了还笑得出来？？？”

父亲更气了。

女孩哭笑不得的指着父亲，



“爸爸，你的。。你的。。。”

“。。。拉链没拉！”



父亲愣了一愣，看了看女孩，再低头看了自己的裤裆，再看了女孩。

然后迅速的跑到一旁，背对着女孩，利落的把拉链拉上。

父亲转过头来，向女孩走来。

女孩想，“完了，这次完蛋了！”

父亲脸上却带着似笑非笑的表情，瞬间又回归严肃，骂了骂女孩，就把藤条收了起来。

呼~

看来今天的零食是吃不到了。