长大了以后才知道，以前老爸老妈老师教的，原来都没有人在做。

做错了事道歉，怎么只有我在做。

我的身体里也住着叛逆，但为什么犯错时就能像石头一样站在那被你骂，莫不吭声。

而你错了却还要恶人先告状。

我不懂。

道歉就一定会被原谅吗？

为什么就是有人不明白道歉的意义？

道歉是为了表达对某件事情的惭愧、懊悔，是发自内心的，是真诚的，所以原不原谅应该由对方来决定。

“我都已经道歉了，你还想怎样？”

这种话听了就气。

我不想怎样，只是希望你的道歉能够真诚一点点。

难道你是因为觉得道了歉，别人就一定会原谅你吗？

若预知连说了对不起，对方也不会原谅你，你就不说了吗？

这种虚伪的道歉，我不接受。

也许不是马上原谅，如果真的惹毛了我，总得给我时间把一切消化掉，时机一到，我自然会主动示好。

但就是有人因为道歉没被马上接受，而恼羞成怒直至翻脸。

只能说，很高兴让我认识了真正的你。

朋友问

你伤心时都不找朋友哭，难道你都不会有想哭的时候吗？

我回

当然会有想哭的时候啊！只是不习惯在朋友面前哭，自己一个人在家里哭就好了

倘若有一天，我患了老年痴呆，我的记忆会停留在什么时候？

是不是得到越多，就越搞不懂自己要的是什么？

故事细腻。

心突然好空洞。

好空洞。

我要的不是一个觉得我有多完美、多好才跟我在一起的人。

我要的是一个知晓我的狼狈、丑陋、邪恶，但还是喜欢我，甘愿留在我身边的人。

好像有什么东西遭到破坏，被汹涌而来的不安吞噬。

有什么能让我淡定，回到最原始的自己。

如果可以选择，你会想成为前菜、主食或是甜点？

有些东西不是不堪一击，而是像挡风镜一样，敲一次、两次，不会破，只是出现蜘蛛网般的裂痕。

再几次敲击下来，越来越脆弱，到最后整片都碎了，还有可能被飞来的碎片割伤。

到了极限，忍无可忍。

离开，会比较快乐吗？

为什么。。。会有一种心痛的感觉？

人啊，眼睛永远只盯着自己想要的，或自以为想要的，往往却忽略了身旁真正需要的。

心里觉得，只要得到某样东西，就会幸福快乐。

唯有失去了那个能让自己安心的东西时，才恍然大悟，原来想要的并没那么重要，只因那个真正重要的东西一直都在，所以一切都变得理所当然。

失去了或得不到想要的东西，会失落、会难过。

但失去了必需品，会颠覆一个人。

人与人之间，最独特的地方在于，与对方共同创造的记忆。

若不是得了失忆症或老年痴呆，那些记忆将是永远的纪念品，直到所有保有记忆的人们都已离世为止。

Merisa Ryu...a soul too sweet to be taken away too soon

Looking at Merisa's pictures on Facebook, especially the ones that were taken when she just arrived in Dubai, I can't help but think.....who would have known she were to return like this.

She must have came here so full of hope and anticipation for a brand new beginning.

She was young. Beautiful. Intelligent.

She was always so full of life.

It was only until recently that I realized that many of us are unconsciously drawn to her for advice.

She always has the ability to calm others down and offer an objective view.

She would support you if you are right.

But she will also give it to you straight and uncensored if you fucked up.

That is what makes people love talking to her about their innermost feelings.

We had an interesting friendship.

We were kinda close but not so close that we would tell each other everything.

However, I am glad that most of our long conversations were deep and insightful.

We were trying to fix a time to meet.

I keep feeling like she's gonna call me again suddenly and we would go out and have hotpot and a beer afterwards, just like before.

Can't stop thinking about the good times that we had together...

The time when I was holding on to her for warmth when it was winter in Dubai and she had THE most comfortable and snuggly sweatshirt on.

Or when we were both laughing at one of my naughty wisecracks.

The first time we met when we did a Venice flight together. She was so young, innocent and pure when we were on the water-bus.

Then there was the Zurich flight where we took the wrong train and almost missed the last train back to the hotel but thank God we finally made it back safe and sound.

And while walking in the city of Manchester, after a fruitful trip to Primark, she was telling me about how ridiculous she thought it was that Japanese girls were going to the plastic surgeon to have their voices tuned into high-pitch squeaks ala Chobits!

She would remember my birthday (and probably every single one of her friends') even if it was not mentioned in Facebook. Guiltily, I can never quite remember anybody's birthday (^_^;)

Because of this, I made a mental note to remember hers and celebrate or at least buy her a gift this year.

But it is something that will never be fulfilled.

She introduced me to some really nice Japanese restaurants and some other Asian ones too.

The delivery I just gobbled down was one of her delightful recommendations too.

Was looking forward to another of our long talks.

But it will never come.

I am sure she is onto another incarnation of her ancient soul to become wiser again.

I should have told her how much I admired her when I still had the chance.

It was a realization that came too late but I am glad it came anyway.

Well, Merisa dear, at least you get to stay forever young and beautiful at the age of 29.

And that is also how you will be remembered in our hearts.

The lives that you touched, have all come together to share their memories of you.

And you know what?






It's all good.




(And I can see you breaking into a smile at this)

真的别对任何人、任何事抱有任何期待。

一直这样告诉自己。

一直都是这样生活过来的，也一直是这样保护自己的。

但还是会有那么几次、那么几个人、那么几件事，会让自己不小心掉入了再显眼不过的陷阱里。

当你开了门，让别人进到你的世界时，你就已经给了那个人伤害你的机会。

事发必有因，也许是在警戒我以后要更谨慎的选择开门的对象。

有时会觉得有可能自己的个性太和谐了，不是在自夸，只是很客观的在做出评论。

于是就学会要狠一点。

曾有朋友说过，不是每个人都像我一样直率、坦诚的，所以要小心，别把所有人都想成和我一样。

很多人，外表都看不出来是什么样的人，但大多都会释放出些许的能量，让人大概知道他们的性格。

最可怕的是那种表面功夫做的很足，所有人都认为是好人，但深交到某种程度后，才发现其实他们表里不一，人前说一套、人后做的又是另一套，越了解反而会越厌恶的人。

要时时警惕自己，别因为这种人，而影响到自己在和别人交流沟通时的方式。

别让他们玷污了自己真诚待人的那颗心。

坚强。

一定要坚强。

可以爱钱，但绝对不能虚荣

不管夜晚的灯火多灿烂，

不管外面的风景多美丽，

不管一个人是多么自由，

总有一个人，

一个地方，

是即便你看尽了一切，

都还是想回去的。


如果没有，

那请继续探险。


如果有，

请珍惜。

全世界，唯独遗落了我

什么样的歌，会让人流泪。

什么样的情绪，会让人失控。

什么样的人，会让人怀念。

什么样的过去，会让人缅怀。

什么样的地方，会让人留恋。

什么样的我，什么样的你。

什么样的我们，什么样的爱情。

一时感触

刚在 Facebook 看了这4年来在迪拜的旧照片，感触很深。

和我同一届的，走的走，结婚的结婚，孩子都生了，有的曾经是很要好的朋友，但随着时间的流逝，差不多都已经完全不联络了。

有得必有失，当然也认识了其他的好朋友们，生活方式也跟着不一样了。

有去夜店的照片、家里聚餐的、庆生时的、受训时工作时、各种正经和发疯时的照片。

Facebook 当真是我在这里的生活全纪录。

虽然成天嚷嚷着讨厌迪拜鸟国什么的，但一想到这种跟朋友们开心无忧无虑的日子，终有一天会走到尽头，心里就突然沉重了起来。

来这里的时候，我一滴眼泪都没掉，满心期待的来到这个我一无所知且又陌生的国家。

然而，这片土地却给了我很多很多。

离开的时候，我会哭吧。

很多声音，很多想法，很多疑惑。

怎么才能看清。

为什么那么复杂，从前的简单去了哪？